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Relational Psychoanalysis

Relational Psychoanalysis
«We do not only discover the past; we create something new in the relationship now.»
Definition

Relational psychoanalysis is a contemporary psychodynamic approach that treats the therapeutic relationship as a two-person field. The therapist is not a neutral outside observer looking into the client's isolated mind. Both participants shape the clinical field, and unconscious relational patterns become visible in what happens between them.

The method works with transference, countertransference, enactment, rupture and repair, mutual recognition, multiple self-states, and the therapist's disciplined use of subjectivity. Change occurs when old relational configurations are not only interpreted but lived differently in the therapeutic relationship.

Founder(s) and history

Relational psychoanalysis emerged in the United States in the late twentieth century, especially around the work of Stephen Mitchell, Jay Greenberg, Lewis Aron, Jessica Benjamin, Philip Bromberg, Jody Davies, and others. It integrated interpersonal psychoanalysis, object relations, self psychology, feminist critique, attachment theory, and postmodern skepticism toward the analyst as a neutral authority.

The shift was from one-person psychology to two-person psychology. The analyst's mind, body, history, and participation are part of the treatment. This does not mean uncontrolled self-expression; it means that the therapist's subjectivity must be used ethically and reflectively.

Key concepts

Two-person psychology means that clinical events are co-created. The question is not only "What does the client project?" but also "How are we together organizing this experience?"

Enactment is a moment when therapist and client unknowingly live out a relational pattern rather than only talk about it. Enactments are inevitable and clinically valuable when recognized and processed.

Mutual recognition, associated with Jessica Benjamin, refers to the possibility of recognizing the other as a separate subject while also remaining a subject oneself. Many difficulties involve collapse into domination, submission, compliance, or withdrawal.

Multiple self-states, emphasized by Philip Bromberg, means that the self is not one unified entity. Therapy helps dissociated or incompatible self-states come into relation without forcing premature integration.

Thirdness is a reflective space that is neither only mine nor only yours. It allows the dyad to observe the pattern they are inside.

Therapy format

Relational therapy may be long-term or medium-term. The frame matters, but the therapist is more explicitly engaged than in classical analytic neutrality. The therapist attends to here-and-now interaction, affective shifts, rupture, repair, and the meanings created between client and therapist.

A session may include:

  • exploration of current life and past relationships
  • attention to what is happening between client and therapist
  • recognition of enactments
  • careful therapist self-disclosure when clinically useful
  • work with shame, dependency, aggression, longing, withdrawal, and recognition
  • repair after misunderstandings or ruptures

The therapist's authenticity is not license for impulsiveness. It is disciplined presence in the service of the client's process.

Evidence base

Relational psychoanalysis shares evidence with broader psychodynamic psychotherapy, attachment-informed therapy, and alliance research. Its specific concepts are often supported through clinical process research rather than manualized RCTs. Research on alliance rupture and repair, therapist responsiveness, mentalization, attachment, and psychodynamic treatment outcomes supports many of its assumptions.

The approach is especially relevant for personality organization, developmental trauma, chronic relational patterns, shame, dissociation, and difficulties with intimacy, dependency, and recognition. It is less suited to simple protocol comparison because the mechanism is highly contextual and dyadic.

Limitations

The main risk is misuse of therapist subjectivity. Self-disclosure, mutuality, and authenticity can become boundary violation, therapist self-indulgence, or pressure on the client to care for the therapist. Relational work requires strong supervision and ethical clarity.

Another risk is losing analytic depth in favor of warm conversation. The relationship is central, but not every feeling in the room should be immediately shared. The therapist must keep thinking about unconscious meaning, defense, transference, dissociation, and power.

Relational therapy is also not ideal as the first intervention when immediate stabilization, concrete safety planning, or highly structured skills are required. It can be integrated later when the client has enough stability to work with complex relational material.

Start

The session starts with two questions at once: what is the client bringing, and what is happening between us as it is brought? The therapist listens to content, affect, and the relational field. Tone, distance, compliance, pressure, shame, testing, withdrawal, and longing may all be part of the opening.

As you begin, I am interested both in what happened this week and in what it is like to tell me about it now.

The therapist does not rush to become the expert above the field. Relational work begins from participation and reflection.

Listening and presence

Relational listening includes the therapist's subjectivity. What do I feel with this client? Pulled to rescue? Afraid to speak? Irritated? Sleepy? Idealized? Made useless? These responses are not automatically interpretations, but they are data.

The therapist holds a double awareness: being genuinely present and also observing the pattern. If the therapist becomes only spontaneous, the work loses containment. If the therapist becomes only detached, the client may meet another unavailable object.

I notice I am becoming very careful with my words right now. I wonder whether that tells us something about how it feels between us.
Transference and countertransference

In relational work, transference is not only a distortion inside the client. It is a way the relationship is organized. The therapist asks how the client experiences them and also reflects on how the therapist may be participating in the pattern.

Countertransference is used with humility. The therapist may think: Is this my issue, the client's induction, our co-created field, or all three? The answer is rarely simple. Good relational interpretation includes the therapist's responsibility without collapsing into confession.

It may be that I have started to feel like someone who will disappoint you unless you stay very pleasing. I also wonder whether I have contributed to that by becoming too quiet.
Enactment

Enactment occurs when the dyad begins living a pattern. The client may become the abandoned child while the therapist becomes unavailable; the therapist may become critical while the client becomes ashamed; both may avoid anger through politeness. The enactment is often recognized late.

The therapist can pause the process and name it tentatively.

Something happened between us. We seem to have moved into a familiar scene where I am the one who judges and you are the one who must defend yourself. Can we look at that together?

⚠️ Enactment is not a therapist failure to hide. It becomes harmful when it is denied, blamed on the client, or repeated without reflection.

Therapist self-disclosure

Self-disclosure in relational work is about the clinical process, not about satisfying curiosity. The therapist may disclose an in-the-moment response when it helps the client see a relational pattern, repair a rupture, or experience recognition.

The disclosure should be brief, owned, and open to the client's correction.

As I hear this, I feel sadness and a wish to move closer. I am not saying that is what you intend me to feel, but I wonder how it lands when I say it.

The client must remain free to reject, question, or use the disclosure. If the therapist needs the client to appreciate it, the disclosure is not clean.

Multiple selves

Relational psychoanalysis often works with incompatible self-states: the dependent self, competent self, ashamed self, angry self, detached observer, seductive self, frightened child, or contemptuous protector. The goal is not to choose the "real" one too quickly.

The therapist helps self-states recognize each other and become speakable in the relationship.

A part of you wants me close, and another part seems to despise that need. Can we make room for both without forcing one to disappear?

This work is especially important when shame or dissociation has made some states unthinkable.

Thirdness

Thirdness is the reflective space that lets both people look at the pattern rather than be trapped inside it. It may appear after a rupture is named, after humor returns, after both can say "we got caught in something," or after the therapist acknowledges their participation.

Thirdness is not neutrality. It is shared reflective capacity.

Maybe for a moment we can stand next to what happened between us and look at it together.

When thirdness appears, the client can experience a relationship where conflict does not have to end in domination, submission, abandonment, or collapse.

Closing and reflection

The end of the session asks: what happened between us, what was repaired, what remained unfinished, and what does the client leave carrying? Relational therapy often benefits from explicitly checking the relational residue.

How are you leaving our conversation today? Anything between us that feels important not to lose?

The therapist may also note their own responsibility for follow-up: a rupture to revisit, a disclosure to check, or an enactment that needs more reflection next time.

Enactment ProcessingEnactment Processing

Enactment Processing is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Enactment Processing appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Enactment Processing is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Therapeutic Self-DisclosureTherapeutic Self-Disclosure

Therapeutic Self-Disclosure is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Therapeutic Self-Disclosure appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Therapeutic Self-Disclosure is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Countertransference UtilizationCountertransference Utilization

Countertransference Utilization is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Countertransference Utilization appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Countertransference Utilization is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Alliance Rupture and RepairAlliance Rupture and Repair

Alliance Rupture and Repair is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Alliance Rupture and Repair appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Alliance Rupture and Repair is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Exploring Multiple Self-StatesExploring Multiple Self-States

Exploring Multiple Self-States is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Exploring Multiple Self-States appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Exploring Multiple Self-States is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Creating ThirdnessCreating Thirdness

Creating Thirdness is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Creating Thirdness appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Creating Thirdness is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Transference as Co-creationTransference as Co-creation

Transference as Co-creation is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Transference as Co-creation appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Transference as Co-creation is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Mutual Recognition WorkMutual Recognition Work

Mutual Recognition Work is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Mutual Recognition Work appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Mutual Recognition Work is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Bridging Dissociated Self-StatesBridging Dissociated Self-States

Bridging Dissociated Self-States is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Bridging Dissociated Self-States appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Bridging Dissociated Self-States is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Here-and-Now InquiryHere-and-Now Inquiry

Here-and-Now Inquiry is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Here-and-Now Inquiry appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Here-and-Now Inquiry is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Relational Pattern RecognitionRelational Pattern Recognition

Relational Pattern Recognition is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Relational Pattern Recognition appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Relational Pattern Recognition is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Holding UncertaintyHolding Uncertainty

Holding Uncertainty is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Holding Uncertainty appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Holding Uncertainty is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Dyadic Affect RegulationDyadic Affect Regulation

Dyadic Affect Regulation is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Dyadic Affect Regulation appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Dyadic Affect Regulation is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Dialogic Free AssociationDialogic Free Association

Dialogic Free Association is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Dialogic Free Association appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Dialogic Free Association is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

Authenticity ModelingAuthenticity Modeling

Authenticity Modeling is a relational psychoanalytic practice for recognizing co-created patterns, enactments, self-states, rupture, repair, and the therapeutic relationship as a site of change.

  • Notice how Authenticity Modeling appears in the here-and-now relationship
  • Name the relational pattern tentatively and include the therapist's participation where relevant
  • Explore what each person may be pulled to feel, do, avoid, or expect
  • Create thirdness: a shared position from which the dyad can observe the pattern
  • Use the moment for recognition, repair, or a new relational experience

When to use:

  • When relational patterns repeat inside and outside therapy
  • When rupture, shame, dependency, longing, or withdrawal appear in the therapeutic relationship
  • In psychodynamic work with developmental and attachment patterns

Key phrases:

I wonder whether Authenticity Modeling is happening between us in some form right now.

Follow-up questions:

How is it to hear me say that?
What part of you wants to move closer or farther away?
Can we look at what we are doing together?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use self-disclosure to meet the therapist's needs
  • ⚠️ Do not blame the client for enactments co-created in the dyad
  • ⚠️ Maintain boundaries while working with mutuality

Mitchell, S. Aron, L. Benjamin, J. Bromberg, P. relational psychoanalytic tradition

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🔧 Adapted diary
This approach does not define a standardized client diary. We prepared an adapted version based on its key concepts. If you have suggestions, write to us.
Client diary — Relational Psychoanalysis

A diary helps notice changes between sessions and prepare topics to discuss with the therapist.

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Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.