A behavioral analysis of a concrete episode of conflict: what was the antecedent, what behavior followed, what were the consequences — for each partner.
Step-by-step guide
- Pick a concrete conflict episode from the past week
- Antecedent: "What happened immediately before the conflict? What were you doing? Where were you?"
- Behavior A: "What did you do/say?" (concretely, not interpretations)
- Behavior B: "What did the partner do/say in response?"
- Consequences: "How did it end? What did each one feel afterward?"
- Link with the formulation: "See how the antecedent launches the trap? Where was the point at which one could have done otherwise?"
When to use
- When debriefing conflicts
- To teach the couple self-observation
Key phrases
What happened immediately before the conflict? What were you doing? Where were you?
Follow-up questions
What did you do/say? (concretely, not interpretations)
What did the partner do/say in response?
Where was the point at which one could have done otherwise?
Warnings
- ⚠️ Keep the focus on concrete behavior, not on character traits
- ⚠️ "You said X" — not "you are always like this"
Source: Jacobson, N. & Christensen, A. (1996)
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.