Holding the current distressing state and a desired value-based state simultaneously so that the tension between them becomes motivation for change.
Step-by-step guide
- Name the current state accurately
- Name the desired emotional or value-based state
- Invite the client to hold both states at once
- Notice the gap between them without forcing change
- Ask what this gap calls the client to do
- Translate the motivation into one small action
When to use
- Middle and late ERT modules
- When the client is stuck in distress but cannot access direction
- When values-based action needs emotional energy
Key phrases
Can both be true right now: anxiety is here, and calm is possible?
Follow-up questions
What do you long for while feeling this?
What is the gap between now and the desired state?
What does that gap move you toward?
Alternative phrasings
We are not replacing one state with another; we are letting them stand side by side.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not use contrasting as forced positive thinking
- ⚠️ The current distress must be validated before the desired state is evoked
Source: Mennin & Fresco, 2014
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.