The therapist reflects the partner's emotional experience with an emphasis on primary emotions, helping to deepen and widen awareness. Not interpretation, but the "unfolding" of experience.
Step-by-step guide
- Listen attentively — not to the content, but to the emotional tone
- Reflect with an amplification of the primary emotion: "When they leave — is it as if the ground slips from under your feet?"
- Use the client's metaphors: "You said 'a wall'. What is it like — to stand before this wall?"
- Slow down: "Let us stay here a little longer. What is happening when you talk about this?"
- Offer an unfinished sentence: "When I am alone — I feel."
- Validate: "Of course it hurts. This is a normal reaction to a break in the connection"
When to use
- Throughout the whole therapy
- The main tool for deepening emotional experience
Key phrases
When they leave — is it as if the ground slips from under your feet?
Follow-up questions
You said 'a wall'. What is it like — to stand before this wall?
Let us stay here a little longer. What is happening when you talk about this?
Of course it hurts. This is a normal reaction to a break in the connection.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Distinguish evocative responding from interpretation. You are not explaining — you are helping to feel more deeply
Source: Johnson, S. (2004); Greenberg, L. (2002)
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.