Here-and-Now Focus — Yalom's Existential Psychotherapy

Speak not about something but about what is happening right now between therapist and client in the space of the relationship. The client's life patterns are reproduced in the session — distance, control, dependence, shame — and a living encounter with this changes more than the analysis of stories. Yalom calls this "process illumination": the focus is not on the content (what is said) but on the process (what is happening between us).

Step-by-step guide

Notice the process: how the client sits, looks, stays silent, breathes
Notice a change: "I see you tensed — what is happening?"
Mark the interpersonal moment: "Something just happened between us. Did you notice?"
Invite inquiry: "What are you feeling right now, saying this to me?"
When appropriate — therapist self-disclosure about their own reaction

When to use

Being stuck in past narratives without change
Relational patterns reproduced in the session
Distance in contact, the sense of a wall between therapist and client
Hidden conflict or tension in the session
All sessions — as a background layer of observation

Key phrases

Something just happened between us. Did you notice? What are you feeling now?

Follow-up questions

As you talk, I see tightness. What is happening?

How is it to tell me this? What do you notice in yourself right now?

I notice we have moved a little apart. What is happening between us?

Alternative phrasings

"It seems you are now expecting something from me. Is that so?"

Warnings

⚠️ Do not psychoanalyze every silence and movement — only significant moments
⚠️ In paranoia — a focus on the relationship can be perceived as a threat
⚠️ The therapist's self-disclosure — in the measure the client needs, not to relieve the therapist's own anxiety

Source: Yalom, 1980 — Existential Psychotherapy; Buber, 1923 — I and Thou