Inviting the Part

A gentle technique of first contact with a part that is not yet ready for dialogue or is actively avoiding it. The therapist helps the client "invite" the part without coercion, respecting its pace. Especially important for Exiles that have long been hiding out of shame, or for parts with a heavy history of mistrust.

Step-by-step guide

1. Notice a sensation of "emptiness" or "closedness": "Is there something that does not want to show itself?"
2. Respect the resistance: "It is okay that it does not want to show. Pressure is not needed"
3. Send an invitation: "Tell it: 'I am here. I don't need you to do anything. I just want you to know — I am here'"
4. Wait: "What do you notice? Is there any response — an image, a sensation, a word?"
5. Accept any response: "Even if it has opened just a little — that is already contact"
6. Build a bridge of trust: "Tell it that you are not in a hurry"

When to use

• With dissociation: the part is inaccessible and does not respond to direct attempts at contact
• With deep shame: an Exile hiding for fear of being judged
• At the start of work with a new client who feels no access to the parts
• With child parts too frightened for dialogue

Key phrases

Follow-up questions

Alternative phrasings