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Internal Family Systems Therapy

IFS
«Every part carries a positive intent. The Self already knows how to lead.»
Definition

IFS (Internal Family Systems) — an integrative approach that views the psyche as a system of subpersonalities (parts), each of which has a positive intent. The aim of therapy is to restore the leadership of the Self — the innate, undamaged core capable of healing and harmonizing the whole inner system.

Founder(s) and history

Richard C. Schwartz (b. 1949) — an American family therapist, the creator of IFS. He discovered the approach by accident in the mid-1980s, working with clients with bulimia. Applying standard family-therapy methods, he noticed that clients spontaneously described inner "voices" and "parts" that argued with one another — exactly as members of a dysfunctional family would.

Schwartz began to take these parts seriously: not as metaphor and not as pathology, but as real inner entities with their own feelings, beliefs, and intentions. He discovered that if the client was asked to turn toward a part with curiosity and compassion — instead of fighting it or suppressing it — deep therapeutic change occurred.

A key discovery: when all the parts "step aside", every client reveals the same thing — a calm, clear, compassionate state. Schwartz called it the Self. The Self does not need to be created or developed — it is already there, but covered by protective parts.

The first book Internal Family Systems Therapy (1995). From the 2000s on the approach grew rapidly. In 2013 Schwartz received a position in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

IFS is a rare case: an approach created by a single person that grew within his lifetime into an international movement with dozens of specializations (trauma, addictions, couples, somatic work, work with children).

Key concepts

The Self

The core of the personality, which is not a part. An innate, undamaged resource present in every person. The Self does not need to be created — it is already there, but can be covered (blended) by protective parts.

The Self manifests through the "8 C qualities": Curiosity, Calm, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, Connectedness.

Metaphor: the Self is like the sun — it is always shining, but clouds (parts) can block it. Therapy does not create the sun — it disperses the clouds.

✅ The 8 Cs are a diagnostic tool. If the client describes curiosity, calm, compassion toward a part — that means the Self is present and the work can continue. If not — they need to unblend from another part.

Parts: managers, firefighters, exiles

IFS distinguishes three types of parts:

Managers — proactive protectors. They aim to prevent painful feelings from arising. They work preventively: they plan, control, criticize, please. Examples: the inner critic, the perfectionist, the controller.

Firefighters — reactive protectors. They activate when an exile's pain has already broken through. They "put out the fire" at any cost: through addictions (food, alcohol, drugs), self-harm, dissociation, rage outbursts.

Exiles — vulnerable parts carrying the most painful memories and feelings. They are often "stuck" at the age when the trauma happened. They carry burdens: shame, fear, loneliness, beliefs such as "I am bad" or "the world is dangerous". They are exiled by protectors so their pain does not flood the system.

✅ All parts have a positive intent. Even the most destructive firefighters are trying to protect from unbearable pain. IFS treats them with respect and does not fight them.

⚠️ Never go around the protectors directly to the exiles. This will trigger stronger defense or retraumatization. First — permission from the protectors.

The 8 C qualities of the Self

QualityDescription
CuriosityOpen, non-judgmental interest in what is happening inside
CalmGrounded, steady energy
ClarityThe capacity to see without the distortions of fear
CompassionWarm care for all parts, even the extreme ones
ConfidenceA quiet inner knowing that you will cope
CourageWillingness to meet hard feelings
CreativityFlexibility and imagination in the approach to healing
ConnectednessA sense of connection with parts, people, and something larger

Unburdening

The central therapeutic process of IFS. A burden is the painful emotions, negative beliefs, or body sensations that parts have taken on as a result of trauma. The burden is not the nature of the part — it is something that attached to the part from outside.

The unburdening process: the Self witnesses the exile's story, takes it out of the past, and the part voluntarily releases the burden — through visualization (giving it to water, fire, wind, earth). After that the part takes on a new role, chosen by itself.

The key difference from CBT: negative beliefs are not cognitive distortions to be rationally disputed, but burdens from which the part can be freed through witnessing and compassion.

Direct Access

A technique in which the therapist addresses a part of the client directly — from their own Self to the part. Used when the part is not ready to speak "through" the client, or when the client is too blended with the part.

Format of therapy

Individual therapy: weekly sessions of 50–60 minutes. The length of the course is not fixed. Work with one part can take several sessions; work with the whole system — from a few months to several years.

The structure of the session is flexible. A typical process: the client turns attention inward, discovers a part, checks for Self-energy, establishes contact with the part, explores its story and needs, and, when possible, works with the exile.

IFS is also applied in couple therapy (IFIO — Intimacy from the Inside Out), group work, work with children, and in somatic format (Somatic IFS).

Evidence base

In 2015 IFS was added to the National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices as "effective" for the improvement of general functioning and "promising" for the treatment of phobias, panic disorder, and anxiety.

Hodgdon et al. (2022) Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma: 92% of participants no longer met the criteria for PTSD one month after the end of IFS therapy.

Shadick et al. (2013) Journal of Rheumatology: IFS in rheumatoid arthritis — improved functioning, reduced depression and pain compared with the control group.

Scoping review (2025, Clinical Psychologist) — IFS recognized as a "promising therapeutic approach" for PTSD, depression, and chronic pain.

More than 100 peer-reviewed studies and dissertations on IFS. The evidence base is growing, but does not yet match the volume of CBT or EMDR. Most studies are pilot studies with small samples. Large RCTs are in progress.

Limits
  • Acute psychosis — with active psychotic symptoms work with parts may increase disorganization
  • Severe dissociation — in dissociative identity disorder special caution and advanced therapist training are required
  • Requires a capacity for introspection — the client must be able to turn inward and observe parts; not everyone can do this straight away
  • Crisis and safety — if the client is in immediate danger, stabilization and a safety protocol come first
  • Acute suicidal risk — IFS is not suitable as the only approach; rapid behavioral stabilization is needed
  • Marked cognitive impairment — work with parts requires a certain level of abstract thinking

⚠️ IFS has no formal list of contraindications. Limits are determined by the therapist's clinical judgment and the readiness of the client's system. The metaphor of parts may be unclear or unacceptable for some clients — that is normal.

✅ IFS pairs well with other approaches: EMDR, somatic therapy, DBT, couple work. The language of parts often enriches any modality.

Opening the sessionCheck-in, trailhead, invitation inward

Inside every client — only parts. There are no bad people — there are wounded parts that protect.

Your task is not to fix, but to help the Self-leader meet their inner world with curiosity and compassion.

First session: check-in → trailhead → 6F protocol (Find–Focus–Flesh Out–Feel Toward–beFriend–Fear). Following sessions: check-in → continue work with parts, or work with Exiles if the Protectors have granted permission.

CHECK-IN

"How are you today? What are you bringing to the session?"
"What is taking up the most space inside you right now?"

✅ Give the client time — do not rush them

FINDING A TRAILHEAD

Trailhead — an external trigger or situation that activates an inner reaction. If you follow it inward — it will lead you to the parts

"What do you notice inside as you speak about this?"
"Where in the body do you feel it?"
"What image or thought arises?"

✅ A trailhead can be a body sensation, an emotion, a thought, an image, a memory

The same trigger can lead to different parts on different days

INVITATION TO TURN ATTENTION INWARD

"Try turning inward and noticing what is happening there"
"Can you close your eyes and look inside?"

⚠️ Do not insist on closing the eyes — for some clients this is not safe

FindLocate the part asking for attention

FIND THE PART

"What do you notice inside right now?"
"Is there a part that reacts to this situation?"
"Where in the body do you feel it — a knot, heaviness, tension?"

✅ A part may show up as a body sensation, a voice, an image, an emotion

If several parts come at once — choose one and ask the others to wait

THREE CHANNELS OF DISCOVERY

bodythoughts/voiceimage/visualization
FocusDirect attention to the part, give it space

FOCUS ON THE PART

"Can you turn all of your attention toward this part?"
"Stay with it — not running away, not trying to change it"

✅ Just being alongside — that is enough

⚠️ Do not analyze the part — observe it

Flesh OutGet to know the part more fully

QUESTIONS TO FLESH OUT

"What does this part look like? How old is it?"
"What does it say? What does it feel?"
"What does it want? What matters to it?"
"How long has it been with you?"

✅ Ask with curiosity, as if making an acquaintance

Not every client "sees" parts — some feel, some hear. All channels work

Feel TowardThe key step — a check for Self-energy

THE MAIN QUESTION

"How do you feel toward this part right now?"
Feel Toward — the key step of the whole protocol

READING THE ANSWER

Client's answerWhat it meansWhat to do
Curiosity, warmth, compassionSelf-energy is presentContinue — move on to beFriend
Irritation, fear, wish to get rid of itAnother part is interveningAsk the second part to step back
"I don't know", emptinessPossibly blendingHelp them unblend

✅ If the client names any of the 8C — there is enough Self, you can continue

⚠️ If there is no 8C — do not push through the defense. Work with the new part

UNBLENDING

"Can you ask this part to step back a little?"
"Try observing this feeling, not being this feeling"
"If this feeling were a being in front of you — how would you relate to it?"

Unblending is not rejection. It is making space for the Self

beFriendBuild trust, acknowledge the positive intent

ACKNOWLEDGING THE PART

"Thank you for working so hard to protect me"
"I understand you are not doing this for no reason"
"How heavy is this work for you?"

✅ Every part is doing the best it can, given its role

To beFriend is not to agree with the behavior. It is to see the intention behind the behavior

POSITIVE INTENT

"What are you trying to do for me? What are you protecting from?"
"If you stopped doing this — what would you be afraid of?"
FearWhat does the Protector fear? The crossing point toward the Exile

THE FEAR QUESTION

"What are you afraid would happen if you stopped doing your job?"
"What would happen if you stepped back?"
The answer to this question often reveals the Exile

✅ This is the crossing point: the Protector points to the one it is protecting

Do not rush — the Protector needs time to trust

GETTING PERMISSION

"Are you willing to let me go to the part you are protecting?"
"What do you need to feel safe enough?"

⚠️ If permission is not given do not go. Stay with the Protector

✅ The pace is set by the client's system, not by the therapist

Work with the ExileWitnessing → Do-Over → Retrieval → Unburdening

1. ACCESSING

"Can you get closer to this part?"

✅ Check: is there enough Self-energy? Has blending happened again?

⚠️ If the Protectors have reactivated — return to step 7

2. WITNESSING

"What does this part want to show you?"
"What does it want you to see?"
"What does it need you to know?"

✅ Do not analyze, do not interpret simply be present and watch

✅ Validate: "I see what you went through. It was hard"

⚠️ Do not rush the Exile — it will show what it is ready to show

3. DO-OVER / REPARENTING

"What did this part need then, but did not get?"
"What would you have wanted to happen?"
"Can you give it now what it needed?"

The Self offers the Exile comfort, protection, care — what was missing

4. RETRIEVAL

"Does this part want to leave there — that place, that time?"
"Where would it like to move to? What place is safe?"

The Exile itself chooses a safe place: a garden, a home, any space

5. UNBURDENING

"Is this part ready to let go of what it has been carrying — pain, beliefs, sensations?"
"What does the burden look like? What is its shape, color, weight?"
"Which element do you want to give it to — fire, water, wind, earth, or light?"
firewaterwindearthlight

✅ The Exile itself chooses the element

The burden is not the nature of the part — it is something that attached from outside

6. INVITATION

"What do you want to invite in, in place of the burden?"
joylightnessplayfulnessconfidencepeacefreedom

The Exile itself chooses the new qualities

Updating the Protectors' rolesA critical step — do not skip

RETURN TO THE PROTECTORS

"Do you see what happened? She is no longer in pain. She is safe"
"Now that the burden is gone — do you want to keep doing this work?"
"Or would you prefer a different role?"

⚠️ If you skip this step — the Protectors will keep working in extreme mode, not knowing that the threat has passed

✅ Protectors often choose new roles: from critic → to adviser, from controller → to helper

Closing the sessionCheck on state, give thanks, plan

CLOSING

"How are you now? How are your parts?"
"Is there a part that wants to say something before we close?"

✅ Thank the parts for their work

✅ Ask what to notice between sessions

Full unburdening may take one session or many. The pace is set by the client's system

The SelfThe core of the personality — an undamaged resource for healing

WHAT THE SELF IS

The Self (Self, with a capital) — the innate, undamaged core of the personality. Not a part. Present in every person

Metaphor: the Self is like the sun. It is always shining, but clouds (parts) can block it

  • The Self does not need to be created or developed — it is already there
  • It can be hidden or "blended" with parts
  • The Self is not a manager — it is a leader to whom parts voluntarily turn

THE 8 Cs — QUALITIES OF THE SELF

QualityDescription
CuriosityOpen, non-judgmental interest in what is happening inside
CalmGrounded, steady energy
ClaritySeeing things without the distortions of fear
CompassionWarm care for all parts, even the extreme ones
ConfidenceA quiet inner knowing that you will cope
CourageWillingness to meet hard feelings
CreativityFlexibility and imagination in the approach to healing
ConnectednessA sense of connection with parts, other people, and something larger

THE 5 Ps — ADDITIONAL QUALITIES

QualityDescription
PresenceBeing "here and now"
PatienceAllowing healing to go at its own pace
PerspectiveSeeing the wider picture
PersistenceGoing on, even when it is hard
PlayfulnessLightness and spontaneity

HOW TO USE THE 8Cs IN SESSION

At the Feel Toward step: if the client describes one of the 8Cs — there is enough Self for the work
"How do you feel toward this part now?"
AnswerMeaning
Curiosity, warmth, calmSelf — you can continue
Irritation, fear, disgustAnother part — unblending is needed
ManagersProactive Protectors — preventing pain

OVERVIEW

Managers — proactive Protectors. They aim to prevent painful feelings from arising. They work preventively

TYPICAL MANAGERS

inner criticperfectionistcontrollerpleaserplannerrationalizer

MANAGERS' STRATEGIES

  • Control and planning
  • Suppression of emotion
  • Self-criticism
  • Avoidance of vulnerability
  • People-pleasing

POSITIVE INTENT

Managers protect from the repetition of past pain. They remember what happened and do not want it to happen again

HOW TO RECOGNIZE A MANAGER

The client saysLikely part
"I must be perfect"Perfectionist
"I don't trust anyone"Controller
"I criticize myself constantly"Inner critic
"I please everyone"Pleaser
"I plan everything in advance"Planner
FirefightersReactive Protectors — putting out pain once it has broken through

OVERVIEW

Firefighters — reactive Protectors. They activate after the Exile has broken through and the pain is being felt. They "put out the fire" — silencing the pain at any cost

TYPICAL FIREFIGHTERS

food addictionalcoholdrugsself-harmdissociationrage outburstsimpulsive spendingporn

POSITIVE INTENT

Firefighters aim to immediately rescue from unbearable pain. They are often condemned by society and by the client — but IFS treats them with the same respect as Managers

DIFFERENCE FROM MANAGERS

ManagersFirefighters
Proactive — work in advanceReactive — "put out" pain already arising
Control, planning, avoidanceImpulse, emergency silencing
Socially acceptableOften judged
ExilesVulnerable parts — carrying pain and burdens

OVERVIEW

Exiles — vulnerable parts carrying the most painful feelings and memories. They are often "stuck" in the past — at the age when the trauma happened

WHAT EXILES CARRY

shamefearlonelinesshelplessnessworthlessnessabandonment

BURDEN BELIEFS

  • "I am bad"
  • "I do not deserve love"
  • "The world is dangerous"
  • "I am alone"
  • "Something is wrong with me"

THE PARADOX OF EXILES

Exiles strive to be heard and to show their pain. Protectors strive not to let that happen — so the pain will not flood the whole system

⚠️ Never work with Exiles directly — only with permission from the Protectors

BurdensWhat the parts took on — not their nature

THREE TYPES OF BURDEN

TypeDescriptionExample
PersonalFrom personal trauma experience"I am nothing" (after bullying)
LegacyPassed down through generationsA sense of duty, family shame
CulturalAbsorbed from contextPerfectionism as norm, sexism

A burden is not the nature of a part. It is what attached from outside and what the part can be freed from

DIFFERENCE FROM CBT

CBTIFS
Negative beliefs = cognitive distortions → correct themNegative beliefs = burdens → release them
PolarizationWhen two parts are locked in opposition

WHAT POLARIZATION IS

Polarization — when two parts (or groups) are locked in struggle. Each fears: if I step back, the other will seize control

EXAMPLE

T: Perfectionist: "It must be done perfectly!" C: Procrastinator: "Then better not start at all" T: The harder one pushes — the more the other resists

Both sides of a polarization usually protect the same Exile

WORKING WITH POLARIZATION

1. Acknowledge both parts and their positive intents 2. Help each side hear the other 3. Discover the Exile both are protecting 4. Free the Exile — the polarization often resolves on its own

Blending and unblendingWhen a part merges with the Self — and how to separate them

BLENDING

Blending — a part "merges" with the Self and takes over thoughts, feelings, behavior. The person stops distinguishing themselves from the part

BlendedUnblended
"I am angry""A part of me is angry"
"I hate myself""I have a part that hates me"
"I am a failure""A part tells me I am a failure"

UNBLENDING TECHNIQUES

"Can you ask this part to step back a little?"
"Try observing this feeling, not being this feeling"
"If this feeling were a being in front of you — how would you relate to it?"

DIRECT ACCESS

When unblending is not possible — the therapist speaks with the part directly

"Part that is angry right now — may I speak with you?"

Used in strong blending, with children, and in severe trauma

TrailheadsEntry points into the work with parts

WHAT A TRAILHEAD IS

A trailhead — an external trigger or situation activating an inner reaction. If you follow the trailhead inward — it will lead you to deeper parts

EXAMPLES OF TRAILHEADS

conflict at workcriticism from a partneranxiety before an examrage outburstbody tensionintrusive thought

✅ Any strong reaction is a potential trailhead

One trailhead may lead to several parts

Finding a Part via a TrailheadFinding a Part via a Trailhead

A trailhead is the entry point into work with a part. It is any external or internal stimulus that activates a part: a situation, a person, an emotion, a body sensation, a dream, a repeating behavior. The therapist helps the client notice the activation and uses it as a thread leading to the part that carries a burden. The technique precedes any other work — without a trailhead there is no entry into the system.

  • 1. Ask the client to recall a recent moment when they felt something intense — anxiety, anger, shame, numbness
  • 2. Clarify: "Where in the body do you feel it now as you speak about it?"
  • 3. Ask them to direct attention to that place in the body, or to an image, thought, or feeling
  • 4. Name it as a part: "This is the part of you that wants attention. Try looking at it with interest"
  • 5. Move on to the 6F protocol

When to use:

  • At the start of every session — "what are you bringing today?"
  • When the client describes a conflict situation or a reaction they do not understand
  • When the client is stuck: "I don't know where to start"
  • When working with repeating behavior patterns

Key phrases:

When you remember that situation with your boss — what do you notice inside right now? Is there something in the body, an image or a feeling?

Follow-up questions:

Where in the body do you feel it?
What do you notice when you bring attention there?
That sensation — what would it look like if it had an image?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not force the search for a trailhead — if the client notices nothing, the very "noticing nothing" is the trailhead
  • ⚠️ Do not interpret the trailhead for the client
  • ⚠️ Do not use the trailhead as a reason to dive straight into the trauma — work with the protectors first

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Six F's — Working with a ProtectorSix F's — Working with a Protector

The Six F's is the main structured protocol for establishing contact with a Protector part. Developed by Richard Schwartz as a safe, step-by-step path from the first discovery of a part to understanding its deep fears. The protocol ensures that the Self always remains in the lead. The key step is Feel Toward: it is what shows whether the Self is present or another part is speaking in its place.

  • 1. Find — locate the part: what do you notice in the body or the mind right now?
  • 2. Focus — direct attention to this part without running away: can you stay with this sensation?
  • 3. Flesh Out — get to know the part in more detail: what does it look like? How old is it? What does it say?
  • 4. Feel Toward — the key step: "How do you feel toward this part right now?" If there is one of the 8 Cs — the Self is present; if there is irritation or a wish to remove it — it is another part, and unblending is needed
  • 5. beFriend — build trust: thank the part, ask what it needs, acknowledge its intention to protect
  • 6. Fear — ask about the deeper fear: "What are you afraid would happen if you stopped doing your job?" The answer usually points to the Exile

When to use:

  • In working with any Protector — this is the basic IFS protocol
  • When starting work with a new part
  • When the client describes an inner conflict or unwanted behavior
  • As a structure for slow, safe work with the system

Key phrases:

You notice this critical voice. What does it look like, or where do you feel it? And how do you feel toward it right now, as you look at it?

Follow-up questions:

How do you feel toward it as you look at it?
What do you feel toward this part right now?
What is it afraid would happen if it stopped doing its job?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not skip step 4 (Feel Toward) — it is the step that shows whether the Self is present
  • ⚠️ Do not rush to step 6 (Fear) — friendship is built gradually
  • ⚠️ If the part does not want to be fleshed out — respect its pace

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

UnblendingUnblending

Unblending is the technique of differentiating the Self from a part that has "merged" with it. Blending is a normal state in which a part takes over: the person stops seeing themselves as separate from the part and starts saying "I am angry" instead of "a part of me is angry". Unblending creates space between the Self and the part, allowing the Self to meet the part with compassion rather than being it.

  • 1. Notice the blend: the client says "I" instead of "a part of me", or has become "the emotion"
  • 2. Name it gently: "It seems to me you are very blended with this part right now"
  • 3. Ask the part to step back: "Can you ask it to move back a little? Not to leave — just to give a bit of space?"
  • 4. Use an image: "If this feeling were standing in front of you rather than inside — how would you look at it?"
  • 5. Check in: "What do you notice now? Do you feel more space?"
  • 6. If the part does not step back — use direct access or work with the blending itself

When to use:

  • When the client "drops into" an emotion and loses the observer
  • When the answer to Feel Toward reveals another part, not the Self
  • In retraumatization: the client is reliving the past as if it were the present
  • In flooding — capture by the exile

Key phrases:

I hear that a part of you is very angry right now. Can you step back a little and look at it, instead of being it? Say to it: "I hear you, wait just a moment".

Follow-up questions:

What has changed? Do you feel more space?
Can you imagine it in front of you, rather than inside?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not ask the part to "go away" or "be quiet" — this will cause resistance; only ask it to "step back a little"
  • ⚠️ If the part is very strong and does not step back — do not force; work with why it does not trust the separation
  • ⚠️ Avoid the word "remove" — it sounds like rejection

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Direct AccessDirect Access

Direct access is a technique in which the therapist speaks straight to a part of the client rather than through the client's Self. Used when a part is so blended with the client that it cannot "step back" for the usual dialogue. The therapist, staying in their own Self, establishes direct contact with the client's part, creating a therapist-to-part relationship. Two forms: explicit (with the client's permission) and implicit.

  • 1. Assess: the client cannot unblend — the part is fully blended, ordinary dialogue is not possible
  • 2. Ask permission from the client: "I would like to speak directly with this part of you. Is that okay?"
  • 3. Address the part: "I am speaking to the part that is so angry right now. I am here, I see you. Can you tell me what is bothering you?"
  • 4. Listen to the part's reply — the client speaks on its behalf, or the therapist observes the reaction
  • 5. Ask questions directly: "How long have you been doing this work? What will happen if you stop?"
  • 6. When the part calms — return to the standard mode

When to use:

  • A part is too blended and cannot "step back" in unblending
  • The client is dissociating, or their Self is not available
  • Very mistrustful Protectors willing to speak with the therapist but not with the client's Self
  • In strong polarization: one part does not let the other speak

Key phrases:

The part of you that does not want to hear anything right now — I am speaking to you directly. I am not going to remove you. You are here for some important reason. Can you tell me what you are protecting?

Follow-up questions:

How long have you been doing this work?
What will happen if you stop?
What are you protecting?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not use direct access as a way to bypass the Protectors — respect them, do not manipulate
  • ⚠️ The therapist must be in their own Self, otherwise their parts will speak "on behalf of" the client's part
  • ⚠️ After direct access always return to standard mode when possible

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Checking Self-Energy — 8 C'sChecking Self-Energy — 8 C's

A diagnostic technique: how much is the client currently in a state of Self rather than being led by a part? The Self is characterized by eight qualities (8 C's): Curiosity, Calm, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, Connectedness. If the answer contains none of the 8 C's — another part is speaking in place of the Self.

  • 1. Ask the client the Feel Toward question: "How do you feel toward this part right now as you look at it?"
  • 2. Listen to the answer and assess: is there at least one of the 8 C's?
  • 3. If the answer contains one of the 8 C's (curiosity, compassion, calm) — the Self is present, continue
  • 4. If the answer contains none: "I am angry at it", "I want to get rid of it" — another part is speaking in place of the Self
  • 5. Ask: "I wonder — is this also a part? How do you feel toward it?" Start unblending
  • 6. Continue until at least one sign of the Self appears

When to use:

  • At step 4 of the 6F protocol (Feel Toward) — always
  • When you suspect a client's part is impersonating the Self
  • When the client says "the right words", but something feels insincere
  • At the end of the session: to check whether the Self has completed the work

Key phrases:

When you look at this anxious part — what do you feel toward it right now? What do you notice inside?

Follow-up questions:

Is it curiosity? Compassion? Or something else?
I wonder — is what you just described also a part?
How do you feel toward it right now?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ The 8 C's are not "right answers" the client is supposed to give; do not create pressure
  • ⚠️ The client may say "compassion" while in a pleaser part — check through the bodily response
  • ⚠️ Do not criticize the client's answer: instead of "no, that is not the Self" — explore with curiosity

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Working with a Manager PartWorking with a Manager Part

Managers are proactive Protectors who try to prevent an exile's pain from arising. They work constantly: they criticize, control, plan, please, avoid, perfect. The aim of the work is to establish a trusting relationship through the Self, to acknowledge the protective intent, and to find the Exile behind them. Managers usually do not trust the client's Self: "you won't cope without me".

  • 1. Find a Manager via a trailhead: critic, perfectionism, control, pleasing — these are often Managers
  • 2. Walk through 6F: Find → Focus → Flesh Out → Feel Toward → beFriend
  • 3. Thank the Manager: "How long have they been doing this work? What would it be like without them?"
  • 4. Ask about the fear (the Fear step): "What are you afraid would happen if you stopped controlling / criticizing?"
  • 5. The answer points to the Exile: "I am afraid you will fall apart", "I am afraid you will be rejected"
  • 6. Ask for permission: "If I show you that this pain can be healed, will you let me speak with the one you are protecting?"
  • 7. After work with the Exile — return to the Manager: show that the pain is gone, ask about a new role

When to use:

  • With complaints about the inner critic, perfectionism, procrastination, worry about the future
  • With avoidant behavior, difficulty with closeness, controlling behavior
  • With complaints about "shoulds" and a sense of constant tension
  • When working with anxiety disorders

Key phrases:

This part that criticizes you so much — it is clearly working very hard. Can we thank it for that and ask: what is it afraid would happen if it did not criticize?

Follow-up questions:

How long has it been doing this work?
What is it afraid would happen if it stopped?
What would it want to do, if it did not have to work this way?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not try to "convince" the Manager with arguments — this only strengthens it
  • ⚠️ Do not work with the Exile until the Manager has granted permission
  • ⚠️ Managers are often polarized with each other — pick one and start there

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Working with a Firefighter PartWorking with a Firefighter Part

Firefighters are reactive Protectors who activate when the Exile has "broken through" and the pain is already being felt. The aim of a Firefighter is to instantly "put out" the pain by any means available: alcohol, food, self-harm, rage outbursts, dissociation. IFS approaches them without judgment, recognizing their protective intent. Firefighters are the most stigmatized parts but not enemies of the client.

  • 1. Acknowledge and normalize the protective function of the behavior without judgment
  • 2. Apply 6F with the Firefighter: "Tell me about the part that reaches for alcohol. Can we get to know it?"
  • 3. At the Feel Toward step — is there compassion or judgment? If judgment — first work with the judging part
  • 4. Learn the positive intent: "What are you trying to do for [name] when you reach for the bottle?"
  • 5. Ask about the fear: "What will happen if you do NOT do this?" — the unbearable feeling of the Exile will open up
  • 6. Explain: "If this pain can be healed — you will no longer need to work so hard. Will you let us try?"
  • 7. After work with the Exile — return to the Firefighter: ask whether it wants a different role

When to use:

  • With complaints about addictions (alcohol, food, substances, devices)
  • With self-harming behavior
  • With impulsive rage outbursts
  • With dissociation as a protective reaction

Key phrases:

The part that reaches for food every evening after work — it is clearly trying to help you. What do you think it is trying to do for you? What would happen if it did not do this?

Follow-up questions:

What is it trying to do for you?
What would happen if it did not do this?
How long has it been doing this work?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Never judge the Firefighter — this only strengthens its activity and the client's shame
  • ⚠️ A Firefighter often appears when the Managers have not coped — work with the Managers first
  • ⚠️ With suicidal Firefighters — an additional safety assessment

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Witnessing the ExileWitnessing the Exile

Witnessing is the first and most important step of work with an Exile, after permission has been granted by the Protectors. The client's Self "meets" the Exile with compassion and acceptance, not trying to fix anything. The Exile finally gets what was missing: to be seen, heard, understood. This is itself a transforming experience: a part that has been isolated for years feels the presence of the Self beside it.

  • 1. Make sure the Protectors have given permission to work with the Exile
  • 2. Check the client's Self-energy: is there at least one of the 8 C's?
  • 3. Ask the Exile to show what it wants to be known: "Ask it to show you what is happening with it"
  • 4. Be present silently — do not analyze, do not interpret, do not rush: "Just be with it"
  • 5. Validate the Exile's experience: "Yes, I see how hard it was. You were completely alone in this"
  • 6. Check: does the Exile feel seen? "Does it know that you are here?"
  • 7. Continue until the Exile feels sufficiently seen

When to use:

  • In work with chronic shame, loneliness, a sense of abandonment
  • In work with traumatic childhood memories
  • After permission from the Protectors — always, before moving to reparenting or unburdening

Key phrases:

That little part you have just found — ask it to show you what is happening with it. Just be beside it — like an adult beside a child who is in pain.

Follow-up questions:

Just be there. You do not need to do anything or fix anything.
Does it know that you are here? What does it feel, knowing that?
What does it want you to know about what happened to it?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not move to reparenting or unburdening until the Exile feels sufficiently seen
  • ⚠️ If the client begins to analyze — gently return to simple presence
  • ⚠️ If the Protectors start to interrupt the witnessing — stop and work with them

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Do-Over / ReparentingDo-Over / Reparenting

After witnessing, the Self offers the Exile what was missing back then: protection, comfort, love, fairness. This is not a change of the memory as fact, but the creation of a new experience in imagination where the Exile finally gets what it needed. The key: the Exile leads the process, not the therapist. The Self "enters" the memory and acts at the Exile's request.

  • 1. Ask the Exile: "What did you want then? What did you need that you did not get?"
  • 2. Offer the possibility: "Can I (the Self) come there and give that to you?"
  • 3. Enter the imagined scene: the Self appears beside the Exile, offering protection or comfort
  • 4. Act on the Exile's request: "Does she want me to hold her hand? To say she is not to blame?"
  • 5. Check the response: "How is she reacting? Is she accepting your care?"
  • 6. If the Exile does not accept — ask what is in the way; there may be another protective part
  • 7. Continue until the Exile feels satisfied. Then move on to retrieval

When to use:

  • After witnessing, once the Exile is fully seen
  • In work with attachment trauma, unmet childhood needs
  • With chronic shame ("I am bad", "there is nothing in me to be loved")

Key phrases:

That little part of you that was alone in the room — what did she need back then? Does she want you to come to her? What will she ask you to do or to say?

Follow-up questions:

How is she reacting when you are there?
What does she want you to do or to say?
Is she accepting your care?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not impose your version of the reparenting — the Exile must lead the process
  • ⚠️ If the Exile wants "nothing to change" — respect it; witnessing may not yet be enough
  • ⚠️ Do not blend with the Exile during reparenting — the client must stay as the Self

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Retrieval of the ExileRetrieval of the Exile

After the reparenting, the Self invites the Exile to leave the past and come into a safe place in the present. This is a "territorial" shift: a part stuck in the past (often at a specific age and situation) crosses into "now" for the first time. It is not an erasure of the memory, but a release of the part from the duty to live in it forever. The safe place is chosen by the Exile itself.

  • 1. Ask the Exile: "Do you want to leave there? You no longer have to stay there"
  • 2. Offer a safe place: "Where would you like to go? To a safe place in the present — at your home, in a garden, any place you choose"
  • 3. Help the Exile move: "Take it by the hand and bring it there. How is it reacting?"
  • 4. Make sure the Exile feels safe: "How is it there? What is missing for full peace?"
  • 5. Give the Exile time to settle — only then move to unburdening

When to use:

  • After reparenting, once the Exile is ready to leave the past scene
  • In work with "stuck" parts that treat the past as the present
  • When the client describes flashbacks or the feeling that the trauma is not over

Key phrases:

Tell it: it no longer has to stay there. That is long gone. Does it want to leave there and come here, into your life today? Where would it want to go?

Follow-up questions:

How is it there? Does it like this place?
What is missing for it to feel safe?
Does it know that you are beside it?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not force the retrieval — only if the Exile wants and is ready
  • ⚠️ If the Exile does not want to leave — find out what is in the way; more work may be needed
  • ⚠️ Do not rush to move on to unburdening

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

UnburdeningUnburdening

The central transforming technique of IFS. After the Exile has been seen, given a corrective experience, and retrieved into the present, it is invited to release the "burden" — the painful emotions, beliefs, or body sensations it has been carrying (shame, fear, loneliness, beliefs like "I am bad"). The burden is visualized as something physical and handed over to one of five elements. After that, the Exile invites new qualities.

  • 1. Ask the Exile about the burden: "What is this part carrying? What feeling or belief no longer belongs to it?"
  • 2. Help visualize the burden: "What does it look like? What is its color, shape, weight? Where is it in the body?"
  • 3. Offer release: "Is it ready to let this go? Where does it want to hand it over — to fire, water, wind, earth, or light?"
  • 4. Let the Exile choose an element and imagine the release: "What happens as it lets go?"
  • 5. Check the completeness of the unburdening: "Is there anything left?"
  • 6. Invite new qualities: "Now that this is gone, what does it want to take in instead — joy, lightness, freedom?"

When to use:

  • After witnessing, reparenting, and retrieval of the Exile
  • Only with the Protectors' permission
  • With chronic shame, guilt, fear, loneliness as "frozen" states

Key phrases:

The pain she has been carrying for so many years — this shame, this belief that she is bad — it no longer belongs to her. Is she ready to let it go? Where does she want to hand it over — to fire, water, wind, earth?

Follow-up questions:

What happens as she lets go?
Is anything left?
Now that this is gone — what does she want to take in instead?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not force unburdening — the Exile must be ready itself
  • ⚠️ If unburdening does not move — go back: witnessing may have been incomplete
  • ⚠️ After unburdening, always update the Protectors' roles

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Updating Protectors After UnburdeningUpdating Protectors After Unburdening

A critically important closing step that is often skipped. After unburdening the Exile, it is necessary to return to the Protectors and show them what has happened. Many Protectors do not know that the Exile's pain is healed — they keep working in extreme mode out of inertia. The update lets them know about the changes and choose a new, less extreme role.

  • 1. Return to the Protectors that gave permission to work with the Exile
  • 2. Show them what has happened: "Look: the pain you have been guarding for so long is gone now"
  • 3. Let the Protector "see" it: "What does it notice? Does it believe that it is true?"
  • 4. Ask about a new role: "Now that you no longer have to work this way, what role would you like to play?"
  • 5. Listen to the answer — usually something positive: "I just want to help you think"
  • 6. Thank the Protector for its years of labor

When to use:

  • After every unburdening of an Exile — always
  • When things stall: the client has gone through unburdening, but a Protector keeps activating
  • With chronic patterns that do not change despite work with the Exiles

Key phrases:

Can we return to the critic that was guarding this? Show it what happened with that little part. Does it believe that it is well now? And what would it itself want to do now?

Follow-up questions:

What does it notice when it sees that the pain is gone?
What role would it want to play now?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ If this step is skipped, the Protector may not believe the change and return to extreme behavior
  • ⚠️ The Protector may not believe it immediately — give it time
  • ⚠️ Sometimes the Protector itself needs unburdening (it has its own "burden of the job")

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Working with PolarizationWorking with Polarization

Polarization is a conflict between two (or more) parts locked in opposition. Each fears that if it steps back, the other will seize full control. Both "poles" usually protect the same Exile, but in opposite ways. The therapist is a mediator, helping each part hear the other. The polarization resolves on its own when the Exile is healed.

  • 1. Detect the polarization: the client describes two opposing desires
  • 2. Acknowledge both parts: "Inside there are two parts in disagreement. Both are trying to protect you — in different ways"
  • 3. Work with each of the parts through 6F, one at a time
  • 4. Introduce the parts to each other: "Ask them to meet. What does each want to say to the other?"
  • 5. Help each hear the positive intent of the other part
  • 6. Find the shared Exile: "What is each one deep down afraid of?" — the answers usually point to a single vulnerability
  • 7. Heal the Exile — the tension between the parts drops significantly

When to use:

  • In the classic "I want to and I can't", "I know I should but I don't"
  • With perfectionism + procrastination, control + rebellion
  • With ambivalence in relationships
  • With chronic inner conflicts the client cannot resolve

Key phrases:

Inside there seem to be two parts in tension: one says "it has to be perfect", the other says "better not to start at all". Can we get to know both? Let us start with the one that criticizes.

Follow-up questions:

What is each of them afraid would happen if it stepped back?
Help them hear each other: both are trying to protect the same thing.

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not try to reconcile the parts by compromise — it does not work
  • ⚠️ Do not take the side of either part
  • ⚠️ Polarization between a Manager and a Firefighter calls for special care

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Legacy BurdensLegacy Burdens

Legacy burdens — pain, beliefs, and patterns passed down through the generations: through the family atmosphere, explicit and hidden rules, and epigenetics. The client may discover they are carrying not their own burden, but one inherited from parents or ancestors. The technique treats the client's parts as intermediaries to the ancestors and gives the burden back along the family line with release through the elements.

  • 1. Identify a possible legacy burden: "Is this your feeling, or does it belong to someone else?"
  • 2. Trace it along the family line: "Who else in your family knew this?"
  • 3. Find the client's part carrying this burden; determine how much is their own and how much is inherited
  • 4. Imaginatively call in the ancestor to whom the burden originally belongs
  • 5. Witness the ancestor's experience if needed and ask them to accept the burden back
  • 6. Hand the burden back along the chain of generations and release through the elements
  • 7. Invite positive qualities into the client's system

When to use:

  • With family patterns repeating across generations (addiction, anxiety, depression)
  • When the client says: "This is not mine, but it is there"
  • With a strong sense of loyalty to the family or "I cannot be happier than my ancestors"
  • When working with emigrants — the burden of migration or war trauma

Key phrases:

This feeling that you are guilty and have to carry everything yourself — where does it come from? Does it look like something you saw in your family? Who else in your lineage knew this?

Follow-up questions:

Is this yours, or does it belong to someone else in your family?
What if this burden is not yours — are you carrying it for someone?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ A legacy burden does not require the same detailed witnessing as personal trauma
  • ⚠️ Some clients resist the concept — do not impose it, offer it as a hypothesis
  • ⚠️ With cultural / racial burdens — do not individualize what is collective

Schwartz R.C. 2021; Sweezy M. & Ziskind E. 2016

Path ExercisePath Exercise

A structured guided meditation, developed by Schwartz, for the direct experience of the state of the Self. The client imagines a path and asks all their parts to stay behind while the Self walks down the path alone. A diagnostic and resource technique: it shows how accessible the experience of the Self is for the client's system, and how much the parts trust it. Used both in session and as a home practice.

  • 1. Invite the client to close their eyes and take a few deep breaths
  • 2. Ask them to imagine standing at the start of a path in a beautiful natural place
  • 3. "Gather all your parts beside you. Give them time to come close. Which parts do you notice?"
  • 4. Ask the parts for permission to walk the path alone: "Tell them you want to walk a little way without them. How do they respond?"
  • 5. If the parts agree — walk the path: "What do you notice? What changes in the body?"
  • 6. If the parts do not agree — work with those that worry, give them what they need
  • 7. At the end — come back to the parts and thank them

When to use:

  • At the start of an IFS course — diagnostic: how accessible is the Self to the system?
  • When loading the client before a session: quick access to the Self
  • As a home practice between sessions
  • With clients who find it hard to feel the Self conceptually

Key phrases:

Imagine you are standing at the start of a beautiful path. Around you — all your parts. Ask them to let you walk a little way along it alone. How do they respond?

Follow-up questions:

What do you notice as you walk alone?
What changes in the body when the parts have stepped back a little?
Which parts do not want to let go? What do they need?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ If no part gives permission — that is information about a low level of trust in the Self; work with this
  • ⚠️ Do not evaluate the client by the outcome of the meditation — everything is useful information
  • ⚠️ Clients with severe dissociation can get lost in meditation — use with care

Schwartz R.C. 2021

Parts MappingParts Mapping

A visual technique for creating a "map" of the client's inner system. The client draws or writes down the parts, their relationships, polarizations, who protects whom. The map is a tool for navigating a complex system, not an end in itself. It helps the client see the "architecture" of their inner world and reduces the chaotic feel of the experience.

  • 1. Offer paper or a digital tool
  • 2. Start with the most active part: draw it in the center or on the sheet
  • 3. Ask: "Are there other parts around it? Which others do you notice?"
  • 4. Gradually add parts: "How are they connected? Who is in conflict with whom? Who is protecting whom?"
  • 5. Find the Exiles under the Protectors: "What is this critical part protecting?"
  • 6. Use the map as a reference for sessions: "Which of them do you want to work with today?"

When to use:

  • At the start of an IFS course — the orienting phase
  • With complex systems that have many active parts
  • With chaotic, overloaded clients: the map creates structure
  • As a home task between sessions

Key phrases:

Let us try drawing a map of what is inside. This anxious part — is there someone else nearby? Draw or write how you sense them.

Follow-up questions:

How are these parts linked to each other?
Who is protecting whom?
What parts do you notice under these Protectors?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not turn it into intellectual analysis — the map should reflect lived experience
  • ⚠️ The map is a hypothesis, not a truth; it will change
  • ⚠️ Some clients get lost in complex maps — give them simple formats

Schwartz R.C. 2021

U-TurnU-Turn

The U-turn is a technique from IFIO (Intimacy From the Inside Out) and standard IFS. When the client reacts to an outside person or situation, the U-turn offers a turn of attention from the external to the internal: instead of focusing on the other person's behavior — exploring one's own activated part. In couple therapy it is a key tool: instead of blaming the partner — work with one's own reaction.

  • 1. The client describes a conflict with the partner
  • 2. Offer the U-turn: "Instead of looking at what they are doing — can we turn inward?"
  • 3. Help find the activated part: "What do you notice in the body right now?"
  • 4. Work with this part via 6F
  • 5. Discover the part's deeper fear or need: "What is this part afraid of in this relationship?"
  • 6. In couple therapy: help the client speak on behalf of the part (rather than from the part) to the partner

When to use:

  • In couple therapy during conflict
  • With projections: the client blames the other for what is really their inner conflict
  • With chronic external focus without access to their own reaction
  • As a reference for independent practice

Key phrases:

You describe what he is doing — and all of that matters. But can we turn inward for a moment? What is happening in you right now, as you speak about this?

Follow-up questions:

What do you notice in the body?
What is this part afraid of in this relationship?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ The U-turn does not mean ignoring the partner's behavior — it is not gaslighting
  • ⚠️ In cases of real violence or danger — safety first; the U-turn is not applied
  • ⚠️ Some clients perceive the U-turn as self-blame — explain that it is not

Herbine-Blank T. (IFIO); Schwartz R.C. 2021

Somatic IFS TechniqueSomatic IFS Technique

An extension of standard IFS developed by Susan McConnell. The body is regarded as the main dwelling place of parts: every sensation, tension, breathing pattern is a possible expression of a part. Five practices: body awareness, conscious breathing, deep resonance, mindful movement, attuned touch. It allows work with parts through the body, not only through images and thoughts.

  • 1. Start with a body scan: "Where do you notice tension, tightness, pressure, temperature?"
  • 2. Choose one sensation and focus on it: "Let the sensation fully appear"
  • 3. Explore it as a part: "If this sensation had a voice — what would it say?"
  • 4. Apply conscious breathing: "Try breathing into this part. What happens?"
  • 5. If the part starts to move — allow the impulse: "Is there a desire to make a movement? Let the body do so"
  • 6. Validate the bodily expression: "Yes, this is what this part is carrying"
  • 7. Continue with the standard 6F protocol, using the body as the main channel

When to use:

  • With somatization: no access to the part through images or thoughts
  • With chronic pain that may be the expression of a part
  • With alexithymia — difficulty naming emotions
  • With body-held traumatic memories — the body remembers, the mind does not

Key phrases:

You notice this pressure in the chest. Try directing the breath there and simply being with the sensation. What happens? What does this part want to show you?

Follow-up questions:

What happens with the sensation when you breathe into it?
Is there an impulse to move? Let the body do what it wants

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Physical contact (attuned touch) requires specialized training and clear consent
  • ⚠️ With dissociation, be careful with an intense body focus
  • ⚠️ Movement work requires enough physical space

McConnell S. Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy, 2020

Internal Dialogue (Self-to-Part)Internal Dialogue (Self-to-Part)

The basic format of most IFS sessions: the client goes inward, finds a part, and the Self enters into dialogue with it. This dialogue unfolds in the client's imagination, and the therapist guides the process with questions. The key difference from direct access: here the therapist speaks with the client's Self, and the Self speaks with the part. The therapist holds the Self–part distinction throughout the dialogue.

  • 1. Help the client enter the inner space: "Close your eyes. Turn your attention inward"
  • 2. Find the part via a trailhead or 6F
  • 3. Invite the Self into dialogue: "What do you want to say to this part?"
  • 4. Listen to the part's reply (the client reports it): "What does it answer?"
  • 5. Keep the dialogue alive with questions: "What do you feel toward it when you hear this?"
  • 6. Hold the distinction: if the client says "I" in relation to the part — clarify: "Is this the Self, or a part?"
  • 7. Close: "Tell it that you are here and ready to be beside it"

When to use:

  • As the basic format of most IFS sessions
  • When contact with parts is well established — when the client is able to work through the Self
  • To deepen Self–part relationships between sessions as a home task

Key phrases:

What does the Self want to say to this critic? What do you want it to know? And what does it answer?

Follow-up questions:

What does it answer?
What do you feel toward it when you hear this?
What do you want to offer it?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Watch for signs of blending: if the client speaks from the part — use unblending
  • ⚠️ Some clients do not hear the part's reply at first — go more slowly through the body
  • ⚠️ Do not let it turn into "talking about the part" — the presence in the dialogue matters, not the analysis

Schwartz R.C. 1995, 2021

Inviting the PartInviting the Part

A gentle technique of first contact with a part that is not yet ready for dialogue or is actively avoiding it. The therapist helps the client "invite" the part without coercion, respecting its pace. Especially important for Exiles that have long been hiding out of shame, or for parts with a heavy history of mistrust.

  • 1. Notice a sensation of "emptiness" or "closedness": "Is there something that does not want to show itself?"
  • 2. Respect the resistance: "It is okay that it does not want to show. Pressure is not needed"
  • 3. Send an invitation: "Tell it: 'I am here. I don't need you to do anything. I just want you to know — I am here'"
  • 4. Wait: "What do you notice? Is there any response — an image, a sensation, a word?"
  • 5. Accept any response: "Even if it has opened just a little — that is already contact"
  • 6. Build a bridge of trust: "Tell it that you are not in a hurry"

When to use:

  • With dissociation: the part is inaccessible and does not respond to direct attempts at contact
  • With deep shame: an Exile hiding for fear of being judged
  • At the start of work with a new client who feels no access to the parts
  • With child parts too frightened for dialogue

Key phrases:

Tell it: "I hear that you do not want to show yourself. I don't need anything from you right now. I just want you to know — I am here, I am not going anywhere".

Follow-up questions:

What do you notice? Is there any response?
Even a small change is already good.

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not force contact — any pressure strengthens the protective reaction
  • ⚠️ Accept refusal as information: "the part is not ready yet" — a normal outcome
  • ⚠️ Do not interpret silence as "the client has no parts"

Schwartz R.C. 2021

Writing Practice with PartsWriting Practice with Parts

A practice of written inner dialogue with parts. The client writes from the Self to a part (or the other way around) in a journal. It lets the work continue between sessions, deepens relationships with parts, and surfaces new ones. The journal practice creates a recorded trail of the dialogue that can be brought to a session.

  • 1. Teach the technique: "Start with an address to the part: 'Dear [name of the part]..' Write from the Self"
  • 2. Ask the part a question: "What do you want me to know? What do you need from me?"
  • 3. Write the answer from the part — exactly as it comes, without censorship
  • 4. Continue the dialogue: the Self answers the part, the part answers the Self
  • 5. Close: "What does the Self want to tell the part at the end?"
  • 6. Bring it to the session for joint work

When to use:

  • As a home task between sessions
  • With active clients who want to keep the process going on their own
  • To consolidate the work done in session

Key phrases:

Between our sessions try speaking with this part in a journal. Start like this: "Dear [part], what do you want me to know?" — and write whatever comes.

Follow-up questions:

Bring what you have written — we will look at it together in the next session.
Write without censorship — whatever comes is valuable.

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Not suitable for clients with severe dissociation — a written dialogue may deepen dissociative states
  • ⚠️ The journal results should be discussed with the therapist
  • ⚠️ Do not recommend at a high level of blending with parts without sufficient preparation

Schwartz R.C. 2021

IFS with Shame and GuiltIFS with Shame and Guilt

Martha Sweezy describes the specifics of working with shame and guilt in IFS. Shame is the burden of an Exile ("I am bad through and through"); guilt is the burden of a Protector ("I did something bad"). Shame is never overcome by persuasion — it is released through witnessing and unburdening. Experience is needed, not arguments. Shame creates strong Managers (hiding, pleasing, avoiding) that do not let the Exile be reached.

  • 1. Name shame as a burden, not as the essence of the personality: "This is the shame you have been carrying. It is not you"
  • 2. Work with the shame-Managers (hiding, pleasing) via 6F
  • 3. Get permission to reach the carrier of the shame
  • 4. Witness the shame-bearing Exile with deep compassion
  • 5. Find the origin: "When did you first feel that you were bad? Who told you that?"
  • 6. Reparenting: the Self speaks the truth to the Exile — "You are not bad. Something bad was done to you"
  • 7. Unburden the shame; invite dignity and a sense of worth

When to use:

  • With chronic shame, a feeling of "I am bad"
  • With perfectionism as a defense against shame
  • With sexual trauma
  • With borderline personality disorder, where shame is the central affect

Key phrases:

This shame that you are not enough — it was not born with you. Someone placed it there. Can we find the part that carries this shame and finally tell it the truth?

Follow-up questions:

When did this part first feel that it was bad?
What is this part carrying? This shame — is it really its own?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Shame is very slow work; do not rush
  • ⚠️ Do not give rational rebuttals of shame — they do not work
  • ⚠️ With perpetrator guilt, IFS does not cancel the client's responsibility

Sweezy M. IFS Therapy for Shame and Guilt, 2023

Self-Leadership as Ongoing PracticeSelf-Leadership as Ongoing Practice

Self-leadership is the target state of IFS therapy: the Self becomes a stable leader of the inner system, and the parts trust it and follow it voluntarily. This does not mean that the parts disappear — it means that the client is able to notice the activation of parts, stay in the Self, and support the parts. It includes regular practice of the 8 C's, check-ins, and inner dialogue as an ongoing skill.

  • 1. Regularly practice the check-in: "Right now — what do I notice inside? Which parts are active?"
  • 2. When a part activates — recognize it without blending: "A part of me is afraid — it is not all of me"
  • 3. Turn toward the part with curiosity: "What are you afraid of right now? What do you need?"
  • 4. Offer the part what it needs — or let it know that the Self is there
  • 5. Track: "How much did the Self lead the system today?"
  • 6. Notice the progress: the parts become less extreme, conflicts decrease

When to use:

  • As a reference for the final phase of IFS work
  • As a home practice throughout the course
  • For clients moving toward independent practice

Key phrases:

The aim of our work is not to remove the parts. The aim is that, in hard moments, you can notice that a part has activated and still stay yourself — with compassion toward it.

Follow-up questions:

In what situations today did parts take over?
When did you notice that you were staying in the Self?

Warnings:

  • ⚠️ Do not create the illusion of an "end of work" — Self-leadership is a practice, not an achievement
  • ⚠️ Do not create a new pleaser part that "does IFS correctly"

Schwartz R.C. 2021

ALLIANCE

FOCUS

INTERVENTIONS

PRESENCE

CLOSING

📋 Structured diary
Parts Journal

IFS helps you get to know your inner parts and their roles.

By noticing different parts, you learn to hear them and respond from the Self.

Record the part → what it feels → what it needs → the Self's response.

Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.