Inviting the client to imagine a significant other (a parent, a partner) and address them directly, expressing blocked feelings — in the presence of the therapist.
Step-by-step guide
- Identify the significant other with whom the blocked feelings are connected
- Invite: "Imagine they are here. What would you want to say?"
- Help get started: "Start with 'Mom, I want to tell you…'"
- Track the affect: what comes up? Grief? Rage? Love?
- Deepen: "Tell her. Directly. Now"
- Afterwards: "What do you feel, having said that? How is your body?"
- Metaprocessing: "How was it for you to do this — not alone, but with me?"
When to use
- When there is unfinished business with significant others
- When feelings are blocked — grief over a loss, anger at a parent
Key phrases
Let's put her in the chair across from you for a moment. You don't have to convince her. You don't have to be fair. Just say what has been waiting to be said.
Follow-up questions
What does your body do when you start speaking to her?
What have you been carrying that you want to hand back?
What would the part of you that had to stay silent all those years want to say first?
After saying it — what is here now?
Alternative phrasings
If speaking aloud is too much, you can say it inwardly and tell me after.
We can also imagine a helpful figure next to you while you speak.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not insist if the client is not ready. Portrayals can bring up very strong feelings — be prepared to accompany.
- ⚠️ Always finish with integration and metaprocessing.
Source: Fosha, 2000; Davanloo, 1990
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.