A Kids' Skills intervention: Agreeing on the Skill to Learn. It turns a child's difficulty into a learnable skill and uses naming, supporters, practice and celebration to build motivation.
Step-by-step guide
- Translate the issue into the skill addressed by agreeing on the skill to learn.
- Let the child participate in naming or choosing the skill.
- Ask who can support practice in a concrete, encouraging way.
- Plan a small visible practice step.
- Notice attempts, progress and success without shaming setbacks.
When to use
- When a child needs a hopeful skill-based frame.
- When parents or teachers can support practice.
- When the problem can be translated into observable learning.
Key phrases
What skill would help this problem become smaller?
Follow-up questions
What did you notice in the moment?
What would be the smallest useful next step?
Alternative phrasings
We can use Agreeing on the Skill to Learn here without rushing the process.
Let us keep this concrete enough to review next time.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not impose adult wording if the child has not owned the skill.
- ⚠️ Do not praise only perfect success.
- ⚠️ Do not use playful language in a way that patronizes an older child.
Source: Furman (2004, 2016); solution-focused child work
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.