The therapist guides the creation of a new experience of interaction in real time: helps one to express a need, the other to respond, both — to live the moment of connection.
Step-by-step guide
- Prepare the moment: one partner has expressed a primary emotion
- Direct: "Say it directly to them. Turn and say: 'I need you near'"
- Address the other: "What do you hear? What do you want to do?"
- Direct the answer: "Can you say: 'I am here. I hear you'?"
- Give space: if the partners reach toward each other — do not interfere
- Sum up: "This is a different conversation. Not your cycle. A new dance"
When to use
- At the restructuring stage
- At key moments of emotional openness
Key phrases
Say it directly to them. Turn and say: 'I need you near'.
Follow-up questions
What do you hear? What do you want to do?
Can you say: 'I am here. I hear you'?
This is a different conversation. Not your cycle. A new dance.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not direct — choreograph. You create the conditions, you do not force
- ⚠️ If the moment has not come — do not insist
Source: Johnson, S. (2004)
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.