Accompanying the client through a full emotional cycle: rising → peak → subsiding → opening, without interrupting and without trying to "rescue" from pain.
Step-by-step guide
- Notice the beginning of the wave: the emotion rises
- Support: "Stay with this. I am near"
- At the peak: do not interrupt. Silence, presence, breath
- At the subsiding: "Notice how this is beginning to recede"
- After the wave: "What do you feel now? What has opened?"
- Look for healing affects: relief, clarity, tenderness, strength
When to use
- When the client is approaching a strong feeling
- The central moment of every AEDP session
Key phrases
Let this come. It has its own shape — it rises, it peaks, it softens. I won't stop it. I'll stay right here with you through the whole of it.
Follow-up questions
Stay with it — don't hurry to close the door.
You are living this, and it is moving through you. What is arriving now?
Notice the wave beginning to ease — what is there underneath it?
What opened after the peak?
Alternative phrasings
If it becomes too much, we'll pause. You are in charge of the pace.
Breath by breath. We stay.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not rush. Do not soothe prematurely. "Everything will be fine" is an interruption of the wave.
- ⚠️ Just be there.
Source: Fosha, 2000; Greenberg, 2002
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.