Work with mixed feelings toward the therapist, often including anger, love, guilt, grief, and fear, as they emerge in the transference.
Step-by-step guide
- Notice affect toward the therapist
- Clarify the different feelings present
- Track anxiety and defense
- Help the client tolerate mixed feelings
- Link the transference to past attachment figures
- Integrate the full emotional portrait
When to use
- When the therapeutic relationship becomes emotionally charged
- When mixed feelings are present
- When past attachment patterns are alive in the room
Key phrases
What are the feelings toward me right now — all of them?
Follow-up questions
Is there anger? Is there care? Is there guilt?
Who else did you feel this with?
Alternative phrasings
Let us not reduce this to one feeling.
The complexity matters.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Requires strong alliance
- ⚠️ Avoid seductive or retaliatory enactments
- ⚠️ Monitor anxiety closely
Source: Davanloo, H. ISTDP transference work
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.