The couple builds a shared signal (a word, a gesture) that means: "Our cycle has launched. Let us stop". Helps to interrupt the negative dance in everyday life.
Step-by-step guide
- When the couple has learned to recognize the cycle: "You need a signal for home"
- Build it together: a word, a gesture, a phrase — something that means 'stop, this is our dance'
- Examples: "Dancing!", a raised hand, a code word — something that fits both
- Agree: when the signal sounds — both stop. Without blame, without 'I noticed first'
- Discuss: what to do after the stop? A pause? A hug? "Let us talk differently"?
- Practice in session: launch a light topic and use the signal
When to use
- When the couple recognizes the cycle
- As homework at the de-escalation stage
Key phrases
You need a signal for home.
Follow-up questions
Build it together: a word, a gesture, a phrase — something that means 'stop, this is our dance'.
When the signal sounds — both stop. Without blame, without 'I noticed first'.
What to do after the stop? A pause? A hug? 'Let us talk differently'?
Warnings
- ⚠️ The signal must not be used as a weapon
- ⚠️ "Dancing!" is not "see, you again!", but "we both got caught"
Source: Johnson, S. (2004)
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.