Dialogical Conversation — Collaborative Learning Conversations

Dialogue, for Anderson, is not just an exchange of lines (those are monologues taking turns). A real dialogue is a space in which something new arises that did not exist in either head before the conversation. Both interlocutors change. Dialogue requires reciprocity, openness, attention to the other's words, readiness to be changed. The opposite of dialogue is monologue: when the therapist "has in mind" in advance where the conversation is supposed to arrive. Anderson (2012) describes this as the basic mechanism of therapeutic change.

Step-by-step guide

Enter the conversation without a foreknown "finale"
Notice moments when the conversation has become monological (you are convincing, explaining, "leading")
At monologuing — stop and switch to a questioning, curious position
Move with what the client says, not with your interpretation
Allow pauses — they too are part of the dialogue

When to use

Always — as a deliberate practice of conversation
Especially when there is a sense of "stuckness" or the client is not developing
When the therapist catches themselves "working with themselves"
On the way out of impasses in therapy

Key phrases

What do you mean by.?

This is not what I expected to hear. Tell me more.

Follow-up questions

What else? What else is coming?

I am following you. Where is this leading?

Pause. (give time)

Alternative phrasings

I notice that I have lost the thread a little. Can you say again what is the main thing here for you?

I want to make sure I am hearing you, and not only what I expected to hear.

Warnings

⚠️ Dialogicality does not mean the therapist cannot speak up or take a position
⚠️ In a crisis the move to directiveness is mandatory — dialogue does not replace crisis intervention
⚠️ Do not confuse with a technique — this is not a tool but a way of being in conversation

Source: Anderson, H. & Goolishian, H. 1988; Anderson, H. 1997; Anderson, H. 2012