The deliberate noticing and highlighting of positive emotions that arise after the full experiencing of core affect: gratitude, tenderness, strength, vitality.
Step-by-step guide
- After the experiencing of core affect — give a pause
- Ask: "What is here now? What are you noticing?"
- Look for markers: a smile, expansion, a deep in-breath, clarity in the eyes
- Name it: "I see something warm — what is it?"
- Help it unfold: "Stay with this feeling. Give it room"
- Link: "This came AFTER you allowed yourself to live through the grief. Notice that"
When to use
- After every completed cycle of experiencing
- When the client is used to ignoring positive feelings
Key phrases
Something is shifting. I see a small smile, a deeper breath. Stay with this as carefully as you stayed with the hard part — this matters just as much.
Follow-up questions
What would you name this feeling, if you had to?
Where in the body is it living?
Notice — this came after you allowed yourself to grieve. How is that?
What do you want to say to the part of you that made this possible?
Alternative phrasings
If the feeling is shy, let it be shy — we don't have to enlarge it.
One breath of gratitude is already a lot.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not impose positivity. The healing affect arises SPONTANEOUSLY.
- ⚠️ If it is not there — perhaps the wave was not fully lived through.
Source: Fosha, 2006; Russell, 2015
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.