A structured description of the couple's problem through three elements: theme (the difference), trap (polarization), and mutual trap. The formulation becomes a shared map for the couple and the therapist.
Step-by-step guide
- Conduct joint and individual interviews, gather information about the conflicts
- Identify the theme — the fundamental difference between the partners (closeness vs autonomy, control vs spontaneity, etc.)
- Describe the trap (polarization): how each one's attempts to solve the problem amplify it
- Show the mutual trap: how both get stuck in roles they do not want
- Present the formulation to the couple as a shared map, not as an accusation of either of them
- Check: do both recognize themselves in the description? Adjust together
When to use
- At the start of therapy after assessment
- Revise the formulation as understanding deepens
Key phrases
Your central theme seems to be [closeness vs autonomy]. This is not a problem — it is a fundamental difference between you.
Follow-up questions
Here is the trap: when one tries to solve the problem this way, the other reacts in a way that amplifies it.
Both of you get stuck in roles you do not want.
Do you recognize yourselves in this map?
Warnings
- ⚠️ If one partner takes the formulation as an accusation — reformulate
- ⚠️ Both must see their role in the pattern
Source: Christensen, A. & Jacobson, N. (1996). Integrative Couple Therapy
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.