Working with Mortality and Finitude — Existential Therapy (Deurzen)

In the physical dimension (Umwelt), death holds a central place. Van Deurzen sees the awareness of mortality not as a pathology but as a necessary condition of an authentic life. Heidegger's "Sein-zum-Tode" (being-toward-death) is interpreted by her as a call to live more consciously. Therapy helps the client to "meet" finitude and to use that awareness as a "clarifying lens" focusing on what is truly important.

Step-by-step guide

Create a safe space for a conversation about death — one's own and that of others, without an anxious rush
Inquire into the client's relationship to their own mortality: avoidance, fear, denial, acceptance
Inquire how the awareness of finitude affects the way the client lives life now
Help to use the awareness of death as a "clarifying lens": what is truly important given finitude?
Inquire into "small deaths": losses, partings, endings — as a practice of working with finitude

When to use

With the fear of death — one's own or that of close ones
When working with a serious diagnosis or an incurable illness
After the loss of close ones — in grief work
With the sense of meaninglessness and "what is it all for"
When working with elderly clients — taking stock

Key phrases

How do you think about your own mortality? Do you think about it at all — or do you try not to think about it?

Follow-up questions

If you knew you had little time left — what would change in your life?

What does the fear of death tell you about what you value?

We lose something all the time — people, opportunities, versions of ourselves. How do you live through these "small deaths"?

Alternative phrasings

When you think that this life is finite — what becomes most important for you?

Warnings

⚠️ Direct work with mortality requires significant trust in the therapeutic relationship — do not force it
⚠️ With suicidal thoughts — safety protocols come first; this technique is not applicable without prior risk assessment
⚠️ Do not force "acceptance of death" — it is a long and very personal process

Source: van Deurzen E. 1997, 2002, 2012; Heidegger via van Deurzen