A weekly rating of the sense of closeness on a 1–10 scale by each partner. Tracking the dynamics, discussing differences in perception.
Step-by-step guide
- Each partner rates: "How close were we this week? 1–10"
- Compare the ratings — do they match? If not — where is the discrepancy?
- Ask: "What affected your rating? Was there a concrete moment?"
- Track the dynamics from session to session — write it down
- Discuss: "What is needed to lift the rating by one point?"
- Homework: in the coming week, do one thing that would lift the partner's rating
When to use
- As a regular monitoring tool at the start of each session
- To track progress
Key phrases
How close were we this week? 1–10.
Follow-up questions
What affected your rating? Was there a concrete moment?
What is needed to lift the rating by one point?
Different ratings are not a problem, but information.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not turn the scale into a competition
- ⚠️ Different ratings are not a problem, but information
Source: Jacobson, N. & Christensen, A. (1996)
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.