Open questions aimed at uncovering how the client is coping with a difficult situation — even when "nothing helps". Especially important for clients in crisis or in chronically hard situations where exceptions are difficult to find. Studies show that coping questions increase the number of abstinent days. Attributing endurance to the client's actions creates an anchor in the hardest moment.
Step-by-step guide
- Acknowledge the difficulty of the situation: "You are coping with a very hard situation"
- Ask a coping question: "How do you manage to keep going?"
- Specify: "What exactly are you doing that helps — even a little?"
- Attribute: "This says something important about you"
- Translate into a resource for the plan
When to use
- When the client is in crisis or describing a hopeless situation
- When there are "no" exceptions — as a bridge to scaling
- With high hopelessness and depression
- As an entry point with a heavy emotional state in the client at the start of the session
Key phrases
This sounds very hard. How do you manage to cope with it?
What helps you keep going when everything is so difficult?
Follow-up questions
What keeps you from giving up?
How did you get to this meeting — what brought you here today?
What of this can you already do — even if it feels you cannot?
Alternative phrasings
Many people in your place would have given up. What is holding you?
You keep coping with a very hard situation. How are you doing it?
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not ask in acute suicidal risk without a prior safety assessment
- ⚠️ Do not use as a way to avoid discussing the real difficulties — first acknowledge the pain
- ⚠️ Do not rush — give the client time to truly think about the question
Source: Isebaert, 2016; González Suitt et al. 2019; coping.us, 2016
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.