The therapist asks one partner to turn to the other and say something directly — from the primary emotion, not through the therapist. Creates a new experience of interaction in real time.
Step-by-step guide
- Prepare: the partner has expressed a primary emotion to you (the therapist)
- Ask: "Can you turn to them and say it directly?"
- Help to formulate: "Say: 'I need to know that you are there'"
- If it is hard — offer a sentence stem: "Begin with: 'When I am scared.'"
- Address the second one: "What do you hear? What do you want to answer?"
- Support the new interaction: "This is a different conversation. Not your cycle, but a new dance"
When to use
- At the restructuring and consolidation stages
- When the partner is ready for direct contact
Key phrases
Can you turn to them and say it directly?
Follow-up questions
Say: 'I need to know that you are there'.
Begin with: 'When I am scared.'
What do you hear? What do you want to answer?
This is a different conversation. Not your cycle, but a new dance.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not force. Enactment requires readiness
- ⚠️ If the partner cannot turn — keep working through the therapist
Source: Johnson, S. (2004)
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.