Fears, Blocks and Resistances to Compassion (FBR) — Compassion-Focused Therapy

A diagnostic and therapeutic work with what stops the client from receiving compassion — to self, from others, to others. Gilbert distinguished three flows: fear of giving compassion to others, fear of receiving compassion from others, fear toward oneself. FBRs may be cognitive ("I do not deserve it"), emotional (sadness at warmth), or behavioral (avoiding closeness). Work with FBR often precedes all the other CFT techniques.

Step-by-step guide

Normalize FBR: "Many people feel anxiety or discomfort when they meet warmth and kindness"
Explore the client's specific fears: "What happens inside when someone is kind to you?"
Identify the type of FBR: "if I am kind to myself, I will become weak", "I do not deserve it", "wait for the catch"
Apply psychoeducation about the evolutionary roots of FBR
Work with FBR gradually — through small experiments with compassion

When to use

When the client resists self-compassion or warm techniques
With tears, anxiety, or dissociation in response to kindness
At the start of CFT — as a diagnostic step
With early complex trauma and unsafe attachment

Key phrases

I notice that when we talk about kindness toward yourself, something in you seems to tighten or close. This is very common. What do you think happens for you when you imagine treating yourself with compassion?

Follow-up questions

For many people, especially those who grew up in difficult conditions, warmth and closeness feel unsafe.

Alternative phrasings

What happens in the body when someone is kind to you?

Warnings

⚠️ Do not push past FBR by force — that will strengthen the resistance
⚠️ FBRs may be a sign of unsafe attachment
⚠️ With severe early trauma — FBRs may be tied to dissociative organization
⚠️ Do not confuse FBR with "unwillingness to change" — these are adaptive defenses

Source: Gilbert P. et al. 2011