THE FOUNDER
Paul Gilbert (b. 1951) — a British clinical psychologist, professor at the University of Derby. The founder of Compassion-Focused Therapy. Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE, 2011) for services to mental health.
Gilbert's key observation: "The client says: 'I know I am not bad — but I feel bad.' That is where CBT ends and CFT begins"
Evolutionary function: detecting and responding to danger. "Better to be safe than sorry"
| Parameter | Description |
|---|---|
| Emotions | Fear, anxiety, anger, disgust, shame |
| Reactions | Fight, flight, freeze, submit |
| Neurochemistry | Cortisol, adrenaline, noradrenaline |
| Brain structures | Amygdala (fast appraisal), insular cortex, anterior cingulate cortex |
| Speed | Milliseconds — faster than consciousness |
| Priority | Maximum — overrides every other system |
Features:
Paul Gilbert: shame is an "inner predator". Self-criticism triggers the same cortisol cascade as a real attack
Evolutionary function: motivation toward resources, partners, status. "I want more"
| Parameter | Description |
|---|---|
| Emotions | Excitement, arousal, enthusiasm, the joy of achievement |
| Motivation | Acquiring, achieving, consuming, competing |
| Neurochemistry | Dopamine (primary), endorphins |
| Brain structures | Nucleus accumbens, ventral tegmental area, prefrontal cortex |
| Feature | Does not satiate — "need more" |
Dysfunctions:
Evolutionary function: safety, attachment, recovery. "Everything is fine, I am safe"
| Parameter | Description |
|---|---|
| Emotions | Calm, contentment, warmth, connectedness |
| Activators | Warm contact, touch, care, rhythm, nature |
| Neurochemistry | Oxytocin, endorphins, vagal tone |
| Brain structures | Vagus (vagus nerve), insula, medial prefrontal cortex |
| Feature | Requires learning — built through experience of secure attachment |
Why the soothing system can be weak:
Key for CFT: the soothing system is not an innate automatism but a skill built through experience and trainable
| Pattern | Description | What we see in the clinic |
|---|---|---|
| Threat ↑↑ / Soothing ↓↓ | The classical imbalance | Anxiety, depression, shame, self-criticism |
| Drive ↑↑ / Soothing ↓↓ | Compensation through achievement | Perfectionism, burnout, addictions |
| Threat ↑↑ / Drive ↑↑ | Race and anxiety at once | "I must catch up and I am afraid I won't" |
| All three in balance | A healthy state | Flexible switching by situation |
Old brain (hundreds of millions of years): motivation, emotion, behavior — shared with reptiles and mammals.
New brain (2–3 million years): the neocortex — imagination, planning, language, reflection.
The problem: the new brain can imagine, but the old brain cannot tell the imagined from the real.
Gilbert: "We are the only species that can sit in a safe warm house with food in the fridge and feel terrible"
The key therapeutic move of CFT:
Why it matters:
⚠️ Evolutionary depersonalization is not an excuse. "Not my fault" does not mean "I do not have to do anything"
1. Loops: threat → self-criticism → more threat → more self-criticism 2. Brain design: the threat system has priority and is faster than the soothing system 3. Conflicting motives: I want closeness but I am afraid of rejection → avoidance → loneliness → I want closeness even more 4. Self-criticism as a "motivator": the brain believes the critic helps — and does not let go of it
| Flow | Direction | Typical block |
|---|---|---|
| Toward self | Me → Me | "I do not deserve it", "this is weakness", "if I relax — I will fail" |
| From others | Others → Me | "They want something", "this is a trap", "I cannot owe anyone" |
| Toward others | Me → Others | "It is their own fault", "I have no time for them", caregiver fatigue |
Paul Gilbert, Kirsten McEwan et al. (2011): the Fears of Compassion Scale — a validated instrument for measuring blocks across the three flows
Conditioning: if in childhood warmth was paired with danger (an unpredictable parent, betrayal after closeness), the brain learned: warmth = threat
Grief/backdraft: when a person first receives compassion — grief surfaces over what was missing. The pain of the absence of warmth in the past
Beliefs:
Backdraft (a term from Christopher Germer) — when the practice of compassion brings a surge of pain.
Mechanism: warmth "thaws" the suppressed grief. Like rewarming frostbitten fingers — at first it hurts.
Manifestations:
Working with backdraft:
1. Normalize — this is expected and a good sign 2. Titrate — less intensity, less duration 3. Ground — breath, body, contact with the room 4. Pendulum — compassion → pause → compassion → pause 5. Do not stop — just slow the pace
Backdraft is not a contraindication to compassion work. It is a sign that the soothing system is beginning to come online
| Book | Year | For whom |
|---|---|---|
| The Compassionate Mind | 2009 | The main book — the theory and practice of CFT |
| Compassion Focused Therapy (CBT Distinctive Features) | 2010 | A short manual for therapists |
| Overcoming Depression | 2009 | A self-help book with CFT elements |
| The Compassionate Mind Approach to. (series) | 2012–2014 | Topical manuals (anxiety, anger, self-esteem) |
| Compassion: Concepts, Research and Applications (ed.) | 2017 | An academic edited volume |
| Living Like Crazy | 2018 | An evolutionary view of human suffering |
| Mindful Compassion (with Choden) | 2013 | CFT + meditation, co-written with a Buddhist monk |
Adjacent authors:
| Parameter | CBT | ACT | Schema therapy | CFT |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Focus | Automatic thoughts | Psychological flexibility | Early schemas, modes | Regulation systems, shame |
| Model | The cognitive triad | The hexaflex | 18 schemas, modes | Three systems, evolution |
| Key mechanism | Disputing thoughts | Acceptance, defusion | Reparenting, rescripting | Training the soothing system |
| Shame | A cognitive distortion | Part of inner experience | The Defectiveness schema | The central target |
| Relationship | Collaborative empiricism | Creative hopelessness | Limited reparenting | The compassionate stance |
| Body | Minimal | Through mindfulness | In experiential techniques | Breath, posture, voice — central |
| Length | 10–20 sessions | 8–20 sessions | 1–3 years | 20–40 sessions (typical) |
| Where it came from | Beck | Skinner, RFT | Young (an extension of CBT) | Evolutionary psychology |
Especially effective for:
Books in Russian: The Compassionate Mind (Gilbert), Self-Compassion (Neff)
2. Titration — less intensity, less duration
EXPLORING THE BLOCKS IN SESSION
EXPLORING THE BLOCKS IN SESSION
The third question helps to separate "I do not want it" from "I want it but I am afraid"
EVIDENCE BASE
LIMITS
The client's suffering is not their fault. Brain, evolution, life history created this. Compassion begins with this understanding
Compassion is not warmth instead of honesty. It is the courage to walk toward pain with warmth and wisdom at once
The CFT therapist does not console and does not "make it nice". Compassion = the courage to meet the pain + the wisdom to understand it + the commitment to act.
Three attributes of the compassionate mind:
1. Wisdom — understanding the evolutionary nature of suffering: "this is not your fault, the brain is built this way" 2. Strength — the readiness to walk toward the pain rather than avoid it 3. Warmth — sincere interest and unconditional kindness
Paul Gilbert: "Compassion is sensitivity to suffering in self and others, with a commitment to relieve it". This is not weakness, but courage
| We do | |
|---|---|
| Acknowledge the pain: "This really is hard" | |
| Give space for the suffering | |
| Stay grounded and honest | |
| Gently but bravely walk toward the shame | |
| Explore what gets in the way of being kind to yourself | |
| Invite: "If you wish, we can try." |
✅ Before each session, take a second to summon the compassionate stance in yourself — warm body, even breath, intention to help
⚠️ Compassion is not cotton candy. If the therapist is saccharine — the client will not believe it
Function: to detect and protect from danger
The inner critic launches the threat system the same way real danger does. The brain does not separate them
Function: motivation, achievement, pleasure
Function: safety, attachment, recovery
CFT hypothesis: most problems = an overactive threat system + a weak soothing system. The task of therapy is to restore balance
✅ Draw the three circles on paper together with the client — this is the most powerful psychoeducation tool
⚠️ Do not say "you have problems with the soothing system" — say "this system simply has not had enough practice"
1. Early experience — what was happening? (threats, losses, criticism, neglect) 2. Key fears and beliefs — what did you learn about yourself, others, the world? 3. Inner critic — what voice did this create? 4. Protective strategies — how did you learn to survive? (avoidance, submission, perfectionism) 5. Imbalance of the systems — how does this affect the three circles? 6. Unintended consequences — how do the defenses sustain the problem?
✅ The formulation is built together with the client — not "about" them, but "with" them
✅ Keep coming back to "not your fault": "Given what you have lived through — your reaction is entirely understandable"
T: Let us look at what we have. As a child your mother was very critical — you never knew when you would get a dose of anger. What might that have created inside? C: I was on alert all the time. T: Of course. Your threat system learned to run at maximum. And the soothing system? C: (reflects) There was no one to soothe me. T: Exactly. No one showed you that you could be safe. And now that inner voice that says "you are doing everything wrong" — that is not you. It is a program your experience created.
⚠️ Do not turn the formulation into an interrogation about childhood — follow the client
The formulation is a living document. Update it as the therapy unfolds
The basic CFT practice. Activates the parasympathetic and the soothing system.
1. Slow the breath — about 5 seconds in, 5 seconds out 2. Make the exhale a little longer — that is the key to vagal activation 3. A soft facial expression — release the forehead and the corners of the mouth a little 4. A posture of openness — open shoulders, arms not crossed
✅ Do this WITH the client — your breath = the model
✅ Begin every session with 1–2 minutes of rhythmic breathing
⚠️ Do not say "relax" — for anxious clients that can be a trigger
The client builds an imaginary "ideal caring being" — a source of wisdom, strength, and warmth.
It need not be a person — it may be an animal, a light, a force of nature. What matters are the three qualities: wisdom, strength, warmth
The client imagines the best version of themselves — wise, strong, warm.
1. Rhythmic breathing — 1–2 minutes 2. Step into the image — "Imagine yourself in the best version — wise, strong, warm" 3. Body — how do you stand? what is the expression on your face? what is the voice? 4. Address the suffering part — "What would your compassionate self say to the part of you that is suffering right now?"
✅ This is not "positive thinking", but a training of the neural pathways of the compassionate stance
The client writes a letter to themselves from the voice of the compassionate self.
1. Validation — "I understand why this is so hard for you." 2. Normalization — "Anyone in your place would feel the same." 3. Kindness — "You deserve care and support." 4. Courage — "I believe you can get through this."
✅ Homework: reread the letter when self-criticism activates
Some find it easier to record a voice message — that works too
1. Chair 1 — Inner Critic. The client speaks from its voice 2. Chair 2 — Suffering Part. The client feels the impact of the criticism 3. Chair 3 — Compassionate Self. The client answers the critic with wisdom and strength
✅ The compassionate self does not ask the critic to be silent — it understands the critic's function but sets a boundary
⚠️ Do not use the chairs if the client does not know the three-systems model — psychoeducation first
Shame = the sense of "I am defective, unacceptable, unworthy". Not a particular act, but the whole self.
CFT is one of the few approaches where shame is at the center of the model, not at the periphery
| Inner critic | Compassionate voice |
|---|---|
| "You messed up again" | "You tried. Mistakes are part of life" |
| "Something is wrong with you" | "It is hard for you right now — and that is understandable" |
| "Others are better than you" | "Each person has their own path and their own difficulties" |
| "You do not deserve help" | "Everyone deserves support — including you" |
✅ Splitting into "parts" creates space for observation rather than fusion
The "double standard" is a classical entry point into self-compassion work
✅ The critic is usually trying to protect — but in a way that causes pain. Acknowledge the function and show the cost
⚠️ Do not attack the critic head-on — that strengthens it. Work through understanding
Affiliative emotions — experiences linked to attachment, warmth, care. They are the "fuel" of the soothing system.
In many clients these emotions are atrophied — not because they are absent, but because there has been no safe context for their development
"Backdraft" — the phenomenon when kindness toward oneself brings up pain, tears, fear. This is normal and to be expected
1. Compassion TO SELF — "I do not deserve it", "this is weakness", "if I relax — everything will collapse" 2. Compassion FROM OTHERS — "They want something", "this is manipulation", "I cannot accept" 3. Compassion TO OTHERS — "It is their own fault", "those are their problems", caregiver fatigue
✅ The blocks are not resistance but defense. Work with them with the same compassion
1. A warmth diary — every evening, write down one moment when warmth was there (from someone or to someone) 2. A letter of gratitude — write to someone who mattered but did not hear "thank you" 3. Compassionate touch — a hand on the heart at anxiety (activates the vagus) 4. Training with "easy" objects — start with compassion for animals, children, then for close ones, then for the self
⚠️ Do not give the exercises as "homework" — offer them as an experiment
✅ Start small: if the client cannot be kind to themselves — begin with kindness for an imagined child or animal
The basic bodily practice of CFT, aimed at activating the parasympathetic nervous system and the soothing/affiliative system. Slow diaphragmatic breathing lowers amygdala activity and engages the dorsal vagal brake. Gilbert sees SRB as "physiotherapy" for the brain — a way to switch the body out of the threat system into the soothing system. Breathing is used as an anchor for any subsequent compassionate practice.
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Gilbert P. 2009, 2010
A psychoeducational CFT model that describes three evolutionarily shaped emotion-regulation systems: threat, drive/incentive, and soothing/affiliative. The model helps the client normalize their reactions through an evolutionary explanation and to see which system dominates. The central idea: the brain is not at fault — it has been doing what it was "designed" by evolution to do.
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Gilbert P. 2009, 2010
A CFT imagery technique in which the client builds an inner image of an ideal compassionate being and interacts with it. The brain does not separate real from imagined at the level of affective response, so a rich, detailed image produces real physiological changes. The being has three qualities: wisdom, strength, and warmth. The technique activates the soothing system through imagined interaction in safe attachment.
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Gilbert P. 2010
The central CFT technique — identifying with the "best version of self", the part that holds wisdom, strength, and warmth. It draws on the "acting method": the client literally embodies the role of the compassionate being, using body, voice, breath. Unlike the compassionate image of another, here the emphasis is that compassion is an already existing potential within the client. Most other CFT practices are carried out from this position.
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Gilbert P. 2010
A CFT imagery technique for building an inner "anchor" of safety and calm. Unlike the EMDR version, it includes multisensory filling (sounds, smells, tactile sensations, temperature) and a focus on activating the soothing system — not just "safety", but also "warmth" and "calm". Gilbert sees this place as a launchpad for any imagery work in CFT.
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Gilbert P. 2010
A technique for exploring the functions of the self-critical inner voice through guided discovery. For most clients, self-criticism is not meaningless — it serves a protective function (motivates, prevents mistakes, protects from shame). Understanding this function lowers resistance to giving it up and creates space for compassionate alternatives. Includes exploring what the client "is afraid to lose" by giving up self-criticism.
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Gilbert P. 2010
A diagnostic and therapeutic work with what stops the client from receiving compassion — to self, from others, to others. Gilbert distinguished three flows: fear of giving compassion to others, fear of receiving compassion from others, fear toward oneself. FBRs may be cognitive ("I do not deserve it"), emotional (sadness at warmth), or behavioral (avoiding closeness). Work with FBR often precedes all the other CFT techniques.
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Gilbert P. et al. 2011
A structured shared map for understanding the client's difficulties through a CFT lens. It explains how early experience shaped the key fears, how those fears activate the threat system, what protective strategies emerged, and what their unintended consequences are. The central idea: "you are not at fault for your suffering". The formulation is a tool for de-shaming and containment.
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Gilbert P. 2010
A written practice in which the client writes a letter to themselves from the position of the compassionate self or an imagined wise, kind friend. Researched in an RCT by Gilbert & Procter. The letter draws on the three components of compassion: acknowledging suffering, understanding without judgment, motivation to relieve. The letter format helps to hold the voice of the compassionate self — the text remains as a resource to return to.
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Gilbert P. & Procter S. 2006
An experiential technique in which the client embodies different parts of the self by moving between chairs. The key feature of the CFT version: the mandatory introduction of the "compassionate self chair" as regulator and transformer, not just a dialogue between critic and victim. Embodiment makes inner dialogues visible, bodily, and available for processing.
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Bell T. 2020, 2021; Gilbert P. 2010
An imagery technique for working through painful memories: the adult "compassionate self" "enters" the memory and supports the child who was in that situation. Based on imagery rescripting with the addition of the CFT-specific resource of the compassionate self. A key technique for working with shame rooted in early relationships.
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Gilbert P. 2010; Irons C. 2019
A set of CFT interventions targeted at shame as the central pathogenic affect. Gilbert distinguishes external shame (fear of being rejected) from internal shame (seeing oneself as defective, bad). CFT views shame as a product of the threat system. The work includes normalization through the evolutionary frame, distinguishing shame from guilt, exploring bodily shame, and a compassionate response.
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Gilbert P. 2009, 2010
An adaptation of the Buddhist practice of metta in the CFT version of Gilbert & Choden. The three flows of compassion are used together with the link to the neurobiology of the soothing system. The practice consists of sending wishes of well-being in sequence: to self → close one → neutral → difficult → all beings. Helps to develop the "muscle of compassion" through imagination and the body.
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Tirch D. 2014; Gilbert P. & Choden, 2013
A key psychoeducational intervention of CFT. Gilbert uses the metaphor of the "old brain" (the limbic system — emotions, basic motives, threat responses) and the "new brain" (the prefrontal cortex — language, imagination, rumination). The "trick" is that the new brain amplifies suffering: we can imagine future threats, recall past humiliations, criticize ourselves endlessly. The psychoeducation creates a neutral frame and removes self-blame.
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Gilbert P. 2009, 2010
A specific CFT practice aimed at developing the capacity to receive care, warmth, and support from others. Many clients can give compassion to others but cannot receive it — receiving care is felt as weakness, danger, or manipulation. The practice includes both real interpersonal situations and imagery.
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Gilbert P. 2010
A specific form of attention training in CFT: the threat system automatically draws attention to the dangerous and the negative. Compassionate attention is a deliberate redirection of attention toward positive, neutral, or resourceful objects, as well as toward the present moment. Includes practices of "switching attention" between threat and calm.
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Gilbert P. 2010
An adaptation of cognitive restructuring in CFT, carried out from the position of the compassionate self. Unlike standard CBT disputation, compassionate reappraisal adds warmth, understanding, and normalization. Includes "compassionate alternative thoughts" — acknowledging the pain, understanding the context, a wise reframing.
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Tirch D. et al. 2014; Gilbert P. 2010
An adaptation of classical exposure in CFT: the client meets avoided situations, emotions, or memories from the position of the compassionate self — from a position of strength and warmth, not of vulnerability. The resource of the compassionate self serves as a "container" that lets the client bear distress without an extra self-critical layer ("See, you are failing again").
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Gilbert P. 2010, 2014
The behavioral component of CFT: deliberate actions that embody compassion — to self, to others, accepting compassion from others. This is the "opposite action" to behavior driven by shame or threat. Includes removing self-punishing behavior, developing self-care, setting healthy boundaries, actively showing kindness to others.
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Gilbert P. 2014
CFT helps develop self-compassion instead of self-criticism.
By noticing the inner critic's voice, you learn to answer with warmth.
Record self-criticism → what a friend would say → compassionate response → effect.