Loving Kindness / Compassionate Wishes Practice (Metta) — Compassion-Focused Therapy

An adaptation of the Buddhist practice of metta in the CFT version of Gilbert & Choden. The three flows of compassion are used together with the link to the neurobiology of the soothing system. The practice consists of sending wishes of well-being in sequence: to self → close one → neutral → difficult → all beings. Helps to develop the "muscle of compassion" through imagination and the body.

Step-by-step guide

Lead SRB, take the posture of the compassionate self
Begin with self: "May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease"
Move to a close one — picture their face, warmth toward them, send the same wishes
A neutral person — send the wishes without particular emotion
A difficult person — send the wishes, noticing the resistance
"All beings" — extend it to the whole world
Discuss: what was easy? where did resistance come up?

When to use

To strengthen the basic "muscle of compassion"
With shame — start with a close one, gradually including the self
With anger and hostility
As a home practice — 5–10 minutes daily
With isolation and a sense of disconnection from people

Key phrases

Let us try a practice that comes from the Buddhist tradition. We will send wishes of goodness — first to ourselves, then to others. This is not about forcing yourself to feel something — just direct the words with intention.

Follow-up questions

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy.

Alternative phrasings

The client may adapt the phrases — what matters is the intention, not the exact words.

Warnings

⚠️ Clients with high shame may not be able to bear "wishes to oneself" — start with others
⚠️ With strong FBR — use the "third-person" variant
⚠️ Do not insist on particular words

Source: Tirch D. 2014; Gilbert P. & Choden, 2013