Inner and Outer Dialogue — Collaborative Learning Conversations

Anderson describes the therapist's work as movement between two dialogues: the outer (with the client in the room) and the inner (with one's own thoughts, reactions, questions). Both dialogues matter. The inner dialogue is not a "hindrance" but a resource: what the therapist thinks and feels can become the basis for a reflection, a question, or being public. Andersen's analogy: the outer conversation generates the inner, which returns to the outer. This double awareness lies at the heart of therapeutic sensitivity.

Step-by-step guide

During the conversation: notice your own reactions, questions, images — do not suppress them
Periodically "check" the inner dialogue: what is happening with me right now?
Choose what of the inner dialogue to bring into the outer (the link with being public)
After the session: reflect on which inner dialogue was active — and how it influenced the work
Use the inner dialogue not for self-defense, but for understanding the client

When to use

Throughout, as a background practice of the therapist's awareness
Deliberately — at impasses, strong reactions, the sense of "being stuck"
When working with one's own countertransference
In supervision — to discuss the inner process

Key phrases

I notice that I had a thought. May I share it?

Listening to you, I felt. It may not be accurate, but I want to be honest.

Follow-up questions

Does this mean anything to you — or is it only mine?

I want to check — does this match what you are feeling?

Tell me if I am going somewhere off.

Alternative phrasings

I am curious what is happening inside me right now as I listen to you.

I want to share what I am noticing in myself — perhaps it will resonate.

Warnings

⚠️ Do not move the whole inner dialogue into the outer — that will break the client's space
⚠️ Self-disclosure must serve the client, not the therapist's needs
⚠️ The line between useful self-disclosure and a burden on the client requires constant monitoring

Source: Anderson, H. & Goolishian, H. 1992; Anderson, H. 1997; Andersen, T. 1987