Ann Weiser Cornell's development of Gendlin's method: a shift in language that creates space between the I and the experience. Instead of "I am anxious" — "Something in me is anxious". This simple linguistic move restores the observing position and helps not to "drown" in emotion.
Step-by-step guide
- Notice when the client speaks in the first person: "I am scared", "I am angry", "I am worthless"
- Gently offer: "Maybe you can say: something in me is scared?"
- Let the client try — speak the phrase in presence language
- Ask: "How does it feel to say it that way? Is there a difference?"
- If the client notices a difference — reinforce: "Yes, YOU are not the same as this part"
- Continue the work with "this part" as something that can be observed
When to use
- The client is identified with the emotion: "I am my anxiety"
- The client is "flooded" — cannot observe, only experiences
- Work with the inner critic: "I am worthless" → "A part feels worthless"
- Any moment that asks for distance between the I and the experience
- At the start of teaching focusing — a basic skill
Key phrases
Maybe you can say: "Something in me feels."?
Try: "I notice that something in me is anxious".
Instead of "I am angry" — "There is a part that feels angry". How is that?
Follow-up questions
Do you notice a difference when you say it that way?
How does it feel — to separate yourself from this feeling?
You are not the same as this part. You are the one who notices.
Alternative phrasings
For the inner critic: "I am worthless" → "There is a voice that says I am worthless. I notice this voice"
For shame: "I am ashamed" → "Something in me feels shame. I can stay alongside this"
For anxiety: "I am in panic" → "A part of me is in panic. And I am alongside it"
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not impose — if it is uncomfortable for the client to speak this way, do not insist
- ⚠️ This is not denial of feelings, but creating space for observation
- ⚠️ Presence language is not an intellectual exercise but a bodily one: the client must SENSE the difference
- ⚠️ For some clients it is too unfamiliar — start with simple examples
Source: Cornell A.W. The Power of Focusing; Focusing in Clinical Practice
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.