The therapist's open expression of their feelings and reactions in response to the client: "When you say this, I feel…" — as an instrument for deepening contact.
Step-by-step guide
- Notice your own emotional reaction to the client
- Assess: will self-disclosure serve THE CLIENT (not you)?
- Share simply and directly: "When you say this, I feel warmth"
- Or: "Your courage moves me"
- Check the impact: "How is it for you to hear that?"
- Track the client's reaction: deepening of contact, or discomfort?
When to use
- When it matters for the client to know they are seen and felt
- For undoing aloneness, and in metatherapeutic processing
Key phrases
I want to let you in on something I feel, because it matters that you know. When you just told me that — I felt tenderness. How is it to hear that?
Follow-up questions
Where does that land in you?
What happens inside when someone is moved by what you say?
Is there a part that wants to push it away? Let's notice that part.
Is it helpful for me to share what I feel, or would you prefer I hold it?
Alternative phrasings
Self-disclosure is always brief, specific, and about the client — not about me.
If this lands as too much, tell me and I will hold it inwardly instead.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Self-disclosure is FOR the client, not for the therapist. Do not share your own problems.
- ⚠️ Share reactions TO the client. Requires maturity and supervision.
Source: Fosha, 2000; Prenn & Fosha, 2017
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.