Exceptions are real moments when the problem does not arise or shows up less strongly. This is not a dream, but a fact. The client already knows how to live without the problem or with it in its minimal form. The task: notice it and repeat.
Step-by-step guide
- Listen to the description of the problem ("I am constantly irritated by my children")
- Ask the search question: "When was the last time the irritation was less strong?"
- Wait for the answer (it might be "a week ago" or even "this morning")
- Develop: "What was different at that moment? What were you doing?"
- Translate into behavior: "How did you manage to hold back? What helped?"
- Reinforce: "Interesting. Could you do this again?"
When to use
- After the description of the problem, in parallel with the Miracle Question
- The client says "It is always like this", "It never goes away" — use it to dispel the generalization
- The client sees no resources — exceptions often reveal them
- The client has been in a state (depression, anxiety) for a long time — find recent moments of relief
- Family work — "When was your family in a good mood?"
Key phrases
When was the last time the problem was less noticeable?
Are there moments when the problem does not bother you?
Can you recall a time when [the symptom] was not as strong?
Follow-up questions
What was different at that moment?
What were you doing differently?
How did you manage it then?
Alternative phrasings
Interesting that something happened that helped you. Could you do this again?
How were you different on that day from a usual one?
What were you doing in that moment?
Warnings
- ⚠️ "It never happens" is a belief, not a fact. Continue: "Not once this week? This day? Even five minutes?"
- ⚠️ The client says "It was random" — that is good! Randomness can be repeated. "How did it happen randomly? What was each person's role?"
- ⚠️ An exception in the distant past — do not use, too far. Look in the present.
- ⚠️ Rule: if the exception arises by chance — include an element of chance in the task. "Tomorrow, flip a coin: heads — observe, tails — try what helped"
- ⚠️ A useful exception is described in behavioral terms (not "I felt better" but "I got up earlier, did exercise, talked normally with my wife")
- ⚠️ The exception arose recently — not historical detours ("20 years ago I was happy"), but yesterday, this week, this month
Source: de Shazer (early SFBT, 1980s), the main technique within "if something works, do more of it"
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.