A structured session of summing up: what has changed, what new dance has been learned, what to do when the old cycle returns.
Step-by-step guide
- Ask the couple to look back: "Where were you when you came? Where are you now?"
- Note concrete changes: "What do you now do differently when the cycle appears?"
- Discuss: "When the old dance returns — and it will return — what will you do?"
- Build a plan: the de-escalation signal, the A.R.E. check, when to come back to a session
- Celebrate: "You have come a long way. You have learned a new dance"
- Leave the door open: "If needed — you can always come back"
When to use
- In the last 2–3 sessions
- At the consolidation stage
Key phrases
Where were you when you came? Where are you now?
Follow-up questions
What do you now do differently when the cycle appears?
When the old dance returns — and it will return — what will you do?
You have come a long way. You have learned a new dance.
If needed — you can always come back.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Normalize the return of the cycle. It is not a failure — it is part of life
- ⚠️ The difference — now they know what to do
Source: Johnson, S. (2004)
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.