Classical reframing is a change of meaning without a change of facts. "Your husband forgets your birthday" can be redefined as "Your husband stresses and forgets details when he is under pressure". A different meaning → a different path of action.
Step-by-step guide
- Hear the client's interpretation ("I am a failure")
- Ask whether there is another way to see it: "It could also be put this way: you have tried many times and each time drew on the experience"
- Or give an example: "In sport this is called learning"
- Do not impose — offer: "How does this version land for you?"
When to use
- When the client looks at the situation through one filter and a different one needs to be shown
- A client with low self-esteem and a negative self-perception
- A problem that is seen as a personality pathology (but may be an adaptation)
- A partner's behavior that is interpreted as hostile (may be an attempt to cope)
- Intrusive thoughts, feelings — redefining as a signal rather than as illness
Key phrases
Could the same thing be called.?
There is another way to look at this.
If you arrange the details differently.
Follow-up questions
What you see as a weakness, I would call [another quality]
This is not a failure — it is.[the reframe]
How does this version land for you?
Alternative phrasings
"Forgetfulness" → "The ability to relax and let go of control"
"Stubbornness" → "Firmness of conviction, loyalty to principles"
"A tendency to criticize" → "High standards, perfectionism"
"Walking away from a situation" → "The ability to give yourself time to come back to yourself"
"You say that you are too sensitive. Does that not also mean you are able to notice nuances others miss?"
"You did not fail. You learned that this path does not work. One step closer to the solution."
"Anxiety is not a defect of the nervous system. It is your body's attempt to protect you."
Warnings
- ⚠️ Not gaslighting — "You are not in depression, you are just lazy" — no. That is not reframing, that is denial
- ⚠️ Not forced positive psychology — "See, in the bad there is always something good!" — can be insensitive
- ⚠️ Respect the first version — listen fully, then: "Maybe there is another version too?"
Source: de Shazer (the key idea: "the nature of the problem does not determine the nature of the solution"), developed in NLP
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.