A four-step protocol for stopping an impulsive action in the gap between urge and behavior. It breaks the automatic chain: trigger → emotion → urge → action. It creates a micro-pause in which the client can choose a conscious action from wise mind, rather than from the automatism. A key skill in impulsivity, aggression, and suicidal crises.
Step-by-step guide
- Stop — literally freeze. Do not act in this second
- Take a step back — physically or mentally step back, take the observer's position
- Observe — ask yourself: what am I feeling? What is the urge? What is my real goal?
- Proceed mindfully — choose an action from wise mind, not from automatism
When to use
- In impulsive actions (a sharp reply in a conflict, self-harm, an impulsive purchase)
- In a conflict — before saying anything
- On receiving a provoking message, before replying
- In a suicidal impulse
- As a daily practice in impulsivity disorders
Key phrases
When you feel the urge to [the action] — do STOP. Literally freeze. Look at the situation from the outside. What do you really need? Now act from there
Follow-up questions
What did you notice when you stopped?
What did you want to do vs. what needed to be done?
Did stopping help? What changed?
Alternative phrasings
Before sending that message — pause. What do you want to achieve?
Imagine a red traffic light: what does it mean to stop right now?
Warnings
- ⚠️ Not effective in an acute suicidal crisis without other interventions
- ⚠️ Requires preliminary practice — for very fast impulses the skill must be drilled in advance
- ⚠️ With very low reflective capacity it needs adapting and simplifying
Source: Linehan, M. M. (1993, 2015). Adapted from cognitive therapy and Eastern philosophy
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.