Work in the 4th state: the client reflects on the therapeutic experience itself — what it meant to live through this together, how the relationship with the therapist and with the self has changed.
Step-by-step guide
- After the experiencing of core affect and transformation — pause
- Ask: "How was it for you to live through this — here, with me?"
- Explore: "What does it mean that someone was with you while you felt this?"
- Deepen: "What do you feel toward me now? Toward yourself?"
- Notice new affects: gratitude, tenderness, surprise
- Help integrate: "What are you taking with you from this experience?"
When to use
- After every significant emotional moment in session
- At the end of sessions — it is a unique feature of AEDP
Key phrases
Let's take a breath and look at what just happened between us. How was it — not only to feel that, but to feel it in my company?
Follow-up questions
What do you feel toward yourself, now that this has been said?
What do you feel toward me right now?
What is different in your body compared to how it was ten minutes ago?
What would you like to carry with you from this moment?
Alternative phrasings
If words don't come, a sensation is enough.
We can sit in silence for a moment and let it settle.
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not turn it into intellectual analysis. Metaprocessing is also an affective process.
- ⚠️ Feelings about feelings — not thoughts about feelings.
Source: Fosha, 2000; Russell, 2015
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.