Targeted work on the self-acceptance dimension: identifying self-criticism, revising one's attitude toward oneself, and developing self-compassion.
Step-by-step guide
- Map the client's relationship with themselves: what do they say to themselves in hard moments?
- Identify the self-critical pattern: "What words do you use?"
- Ask: "Would you say this to a friend? Why is it okay to say it to yourself?"
- Propose an alternative inner voice: "How would a kind voice sound?"
- Assignment: a "what I like about myself" diary — one quality per day
- Track self-acceptance interrupters in the well-being diary
When to use
- When self-acceptance is one of the weak dimensions
- Marked self-criticism or perfectionism
Key phrases
You just described yourself the way you'd never describe a friend. Let's slow down. What would you say to someone you love if they spoke to you the way you just spoke to yourself?
Follow-up questions
What words does your self-criticism use most often?
Whose voice does that inner voice most resemble?
If a kinder voice were speaking instead, what would it say right now?
One quality you don't hate about yourself — can we start there?
Alternative phrasings
Start with neutrality, not love. "I'm okay" is already progress.
What is the smallest true compliment you could give yourself today?
Warnings
- ⚠️ Do not push "love yourself". Neutrality — "I am okay" — is already progress.
- ⚠️ Self-acceptance is not the same as self-satisfaction. It is the end of war, not the start of complacency.
Source: Fava, 2016; Ryff, 1989
Materials are informational and educational and summarize publicly available scientific sources. They are not medical or psychological advice, are not intended for self-diagnosis or self-treatment, and do not replace consultation with a qualified professional.